The following letter is from a dear sister of mine, who gave me the permission to share her thoughts about God and her relationship. Reading this letter filled me with encouragement as it reminded me of God’s love and Godly relationships. Sometimes we forget who the author of relationships is, and we think we can define what a relationship should look like. This woman reminded me that I cannot shape a man, and only God can shape that man. 

Dearest Mishael,

I really do appreciate the time you took to reflect on your actions. I praise God and thank him for the maturity, you are gaining. I really want to say congratulations. Those are the first steps in becoming God’s servant. You are getting the full meaning of what it means to serve him and adhere to all his ways.

I just want to let you know that I make friends easily, but I make them at a distance. I do appreciate people’s freedom and I don’t want to hold too tight to someone, especially if I know they have the opportunity to find other friends or have had friends before they met me. I don’t like making someone feel like a prisoner around me. When they have searched enough and are satisfied, I will let them know that my door is always open for them. I won’t hate them or push them away. I will remember them and keep them close to my heart. I am have learnt to forgive and reconcile with people, and I keep learning every day. That’s just how I am with friends. Don’t worry too much. I make friends very easily, but I just need to be very open and alert with the friends I have.

When we make decisions, we need to be open to other’s perspectives and not just our own. We need to allow room for other ideas to fit in, or be compatible with our decisions. Above all, we need to allow our hearts to be open to God’s calling. We might make a decision, we believe is the best decision, but do we often stop to ask God “Is this you want from me?” Is this what I should be doing? When I accepted to court you, I was taking responsibility into my own hands. I was at the same time letting God know that I was not ready, but that I would trust him to lead me and guide me. One thing I would not do in our courtship was to let myself get ahead of him. In as much as situations got thick and heavy, and I felt like I do not need this pain, I told him, “Thank you Lord for this chance for me to grow and exercise your love. Thank you for giving me an opportunity to know what true love is, so that I can be able to tell others that it’s not easy.” The only one who can break through a relationship is the author of relationships. There were times that Jesus said “father, take this cup from me.” Again, he would say “not my will be done, but yours alone”. This is the reason I was able to love you.

When I first saw you and said a simple prayer to God, he heard it and I was not going to disappoint him. That is why, I loved you through all the pain you put me through. I learnt how to forgive you and was given the strength to help you grow in your faith. The only way we are to survive as a couple and become a testimony to the world is for you to grow in your faith. Is for you to strengthen your relationship with God and know who he is.

When you are strong enough to take in others under your wing, to nurture them, you will fully understand your calling. You will understand that you do not live for yourself, nor for me, but for God alone. He is a jealous God and does not like when people come to him, when they have personal goals in mind. He wants us to serve him because he is our Lord and saviour. He wants us to give everything to him. He wants us to give up everything that we hold dear, and focus solely on building a firm relationship with him. That is the kind of God we serve. He is not selfish, for if he was, he would not have sent his one and only son to die for our sins.

God knows the plans he has for each and every individual, and he usually prefers us to search for those plans than to start making plans of our own. He would rather we ask him what he wants us to do than for us to be telling him what we want him to do for us. For example, this is what you said: because every day I pray to Him so that he may protect you and mold you to the woman I deserve to have in life, and promised myself to take in charge, protect you and to be there whenever you needed me.” You are telling God what he should do for you. You are not asking God the right questions. For you to grow with God, you will need to ask him what he wants from you. Seek his glory, not him to fix things up for you. Ask him how you can serve him, how you can be a voice for him. When those become your burdens, then you will find that your relationship with him will be stronger, as he begins to reveal himself to you. In return, he will show you how to love me and treat me. I can’t tell you how to treat me. You are not alone in this. He is here always ready for you. When you begin to spend more time with him, in prayer, in his word and meditation, you will fully understand his ways.

I am so glad that you are taking this two weeks to talk to him. I am supporting you in prayer and continued faith, mind, strength and heart to his will. May he reveal to you, your mission. Once you have figured out what he wants from you, you will begin to see things in so many different ways and at different levels. Your focus will be widening his kingdom. I am praying and seeking for God’s favor in your life. That you two will become best of friends and that your joy will be complete in him, as you begin to uncover the mystery he has for you.

You are growing so much and all I can do is praise God every day and thank him. If you find yourself in a situation where the language is not of God, walk away and don’t feel like a coward. It is not the big things that count in following Christ. It is the small things. Make use of your Bible. It is the only defining authority. Go to your pastor and ask him questions. Go ask him to pray with you and pray for you. If you are ashamed of Christ, he will be ashamed of you too before his father. If you want to strengthen your relationship, find someone you can talk to.

I will leave you with these 11 things. If you want you can print them out and put them up on your wall in the house.

A SERVANT OF GOD MUST

1. ENDURE HARDSHIPS
2. NOT INVOLVE IN GOSSIP
3. REMAIN FAITHFUL
4. AVOID GODLESS CHATTER
5. FLEE THE DSIRES OF YOUR YOUTH
6. HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH FOOLISH/STUPID ARGUMENTS
7. NOT QUARREL
8. BE KIND TO EVERYONE
9. BE ABLE TO TEACH
10. NOT BE RESENTFUL
11. INSTRUCT WITH GENTLENESS

This is from 2 Timothy 2.

I do pray that you will take comfort in him and let him lead your every step to the place where he needs you to be. May your bond with him increase so much so that you won’t have space for yourself or me. It is called SACRIFICE. Sacrificing all your wants so that he can have his way in you. Be blessed and take comfort in him.

Love you always 

There people. You have it now. Let me know your thoughts

A movement, is usually started by a person or people, who are working together to advance their shared ideas, be it political, social or even artistic. When Martin Luther King Jr started the movement against racism in America, he was sharing his idea of equality and unity of people of every race. There have been many movements around the world, against structural institutions, injustices and war (violence). What then is the movement of Grace?

The movement of grace was began thousands of years ago, which many people like mother Teresa carried out, and countless people continue to spread the word about this movement. We can read about this movement in the big book of many books, called the Bible. This book has records of promises and prophecies made about a certain man who was going to come and make all things new. In the New Testament (NT), this man, Jesus, showed us the meaning of grace. Looking at one of the books in the Bible, I came across chapter 15 of Luke.

The chapter begins with the tax collectors and sinners all gathering around Jesus to hear him. Now the Pharisees and teachers of the law complained that “this man welcomes sinners, and eats with them’. When I read this, I just wanted to laugh, because there are so many Pharisees in the world today. Why would I say that? There’s no need to go too far to look for examples. How many of us see people that need saving, and we pray for them to get salvation, but are not willing to associate with them? How can you pray for them, yet at the same time condemn them? Do you judge people before praying for them? Do you first condemn them before offering them salvation? Where does grace fall?

Jesus heard what these people were muttering, and he began by telling them parables of the lost sheep, where the shepherd will leave 99 sheep in the field, just to look for the lost sheep. To the shepherd, that lost sheep is vulnerable and needs rescuing than the already protected 99 sheep. He also talked about a woman with 10 silver coins, and loses one. She will lit the lamp just to look for that one. Finally, he tells them the story of the father and his two sons, where the youngest asked the father to give him his inheritance, which he went and spent on absolutely nothing (meaning; parties, women) and was broke. He went below the lowest person, to the point of eating pig food. However, he discovers who he was and decides to go home and humble himself and find work at his father’s place even as a servant. When he gets home, his father sees him and throws a party, welcoming him back home and reinstating him to his position as son. From these three stories, we can see that the shepherd was giving the sheep a second chance in life, in case he finds it, so was the woman with the lost coin and finally the father.  The father’s words were “For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found” vs 24.

How many of us have stories of moments we felt like all was done for, but miraculously, things were turned around for us, giving us a second shot at life? Jesus sitting with these sinners showed us how to live. He showed us what grace is, so that we are able to show that grace to others who don’t deserve it. Jesus reached out to those who were lost, showing them love and inclusions, letting them know there’s an alternative to their lifestyles. Jesus died on the cross for us who deserve to die, but he died so that we could have a second chance before God.  How many people have you stopped talking to, because they hurt you or looked down on you, or questioned what you believed in or destroyed the trust you had for them, when you first met? I am guilty as charged, but I am learning to put aside my pride and feelings, and concentrate on the work Jesus has called me to. I am learning to forgive and hold no grudges, as well as embrace people with their differences and also praying that the Jesus in me will overcome the human nature in me.

The movement of grace is not about preaching the word of God alone, but it is found in the ways we live our lives with one another. How much grace do you show to someone who has hurt you? Have you not hurt others before? Didn’t Jesus love you and forgave you without you even asking him for forgiveness? What you expect to hear from that person, might never come, but Jesus is waiting for you to do what he would do. That is why he taught us a lifestyle of humility. When we lay down our guard and look at those people or that person with the grace that Jesus looked at us with, then we offer them grace through our own lifestyles. How can I share the movement of grace when I am unable to forgive my neighbour? How can I tell people of his love when I can’t love the ones in the same room with me? Grace is not something we earn, but it is a free gift. Grace is a gift of God through Jesus who loved you and me enough to die for your sins and my sins. It is not earned, but is simply love from above. You don’t deserve it and and I don’t deserve it, yet we have been granted grace. So why don’t you show that to that person you no longer speak to?

Prostrating before God and letting go everything is one of the most amazing experiences I have ever had in worship. When we seek God with all our hearts, do we go down on our knees; lay flat on our stomachs or do we sit on comfortable beds, sit on cushioned seats (not that anything is wrong with them)? If you have never had the experiences of lowering yourself like a dog, then I suggest you should try sometime. In the Old Testament (OT), we are told stories of people like Esther, Daniel, Ezekiel, David and many others, who took off their clothes and wore torn sack clothes, to go before God. This was in situations beyond their control, and they went to seek for his intervention. I was fascinated with David, who after understanding the full impact of his sin with Bethsheba, prostrated before God for three days without food or drink. When the child died, he got up and ate. PUZZLING. I was fascinated with him, because he laid flat on his stomach with his face to the floor, praying and I am guessing asking for God’s forgiveness for the atrocity he has committed, along with the crime of adultery. He should his hopelessness and inability to fix the damage he has done. God heard him and forgave him, at a price.

As I prostrated myself before God with the heaviness on my heart for the things I could not understand, tears from nowhere came rushing like a fountain that has been blocked for years. I was surprised to find tears and pain swelling up inside of me, because a few minutes earlier, I had been listening to music, dancing around my room and thinking over my life. The moment, I laid on my side, the tears started without me evoking them. When I turned flat on my stomach on the floor, not caring what was on that floor, they floods could not stop. I then realized what was happening. My inability to fix what was going on in my life, was being laid before God, because no one would know that this was the burden I was carrying, when all they ever see is smiles on my face.

I asked God to make my path straight, because I was confused in my walk. I was lost and feeling alone in dealing with my relationships in my personal life. In all honesty, I just wanted to give up everything and cut everyone out of my life, especially when it comes to the man I love. As I laid there before God pouring out my heart to him, God reminded me that he is also hurting and lost just as I am. I really didn’t want to hear it, because I have been hurt so many times and have forgiven so many times. When God reminded me over and over that he was also hurting, that made me realized that he too is struggling just like me. He has been telling me to give him time, but I didn’t understanding how much time, because I was thinking of all that we have been through and it looks like I was the only one who learnt much from our struggles.

I told God that I won’t stop prostrating before him every day till he has given me an answer to what I need to do next. This man did not come into my life because I wanted him, but because he fulfilled a promised I made with God at the age of 18. After laying there for close to 30 minutes, I got up and took my Bible out. I have been reading through the book of Luke, and yesterday morning I read chapter 12. So after praying last night, I took out my Bible and opened chapter 13. As I read the chapter, Verse 6-9 stood out to me. Jesus told the parable of a fig tree that wasn’t bearing fruit after 3 years and the man wanted to cut it down. So he told the man who took care of it to cut it down, but the man said “Sir… leave it alone for one more year and I will dig around it and fertilize it. If it bears fruit next year, fine! If not, then cut it down.” This to me was my leading answer that I believe Jesus has given me. I felt like I was the man who owns the fig tree and wants to cut it down. Jesus however is telling me to give it one more year.

You might take it as a coincidence, but I take it as an answer because people in the Bible got their prayers answered. My next question was, ‘how will I go about this LORD? I need you to show me the right path to follow. I don’t want to mess up your plan with my emotions and feelings. Now that you have told me to wait, how am I supposed to wait without getting too impatient?’ God is the same yesterday in the OT and today and forevermore. 

Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. I want you to know, brothers that the gospel I preached is not something that man made up…But when God, who set me apart from birth and called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son in me so that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not consult any man, nor did I go up to Jerusalem to see those who were apostles before I was, but I went immediately into Arabia and later returning to Damascus (Gal 1:10,15-17 NIV)

The hardest thing about being a Christian is living for the one who brought you salvation. I mention this because when you make a declaration of faith, it becomes almost every Christian’s business to tell you what they think you should and not do. Remember that I said ALMOST. Rightly, they are helping you understand what it means to live as a Christian. My only problem with that fact, is that we all have different views of practicing our Christian faith, especially when it comes to applying the words into our daily life.

What I would like to say is that we become followers of Christ because we have seen his life and the importance of his mission, which was to save us. It is a beautiful achievement for everyman to recognize that sacrifice that was made just for him. However, that does not mean you should win man’s approval to tell you that you are a Christian. Paul himself announced all that he did before he was converted by our Lord Jesus. He did not seek the apostles’ opinion for him to know if he was qualified to be God’s servant. His actions spoke for themselves. Sometimes we Christians fail to see that it is not our duty to make a list of Dos and Don’ts. God himself has given to us in the 66 book letter he wrote. I do not mean, we cannot gently guide a brother or sister back into the word, but we are not the judge of their characters.

If your job as a Christian is to seek the approval of men and not the one who sent you, then like Paul, I can do nothing but pray for you. When God called me before I even knew him and how much he loves me, I heard his voice, but didn’t recognize it. From a very young age, I was trying not to please people. I hated being used by everyone. I hated being a bridge between people with misunderstandings and I hated telling on people. I came across a story of a young Christian man who had witnessed something a student did. He didn’t report it, and when he was asked why, he said “I was not enrolled into this University to tell on my friends. Besides, you didn’t ask me. So I had no obligation to tell you anything.” From his boldness, I decided, I was not going to follow the majority and do what everybody else thought was cool in the eyes of many. When I finally came to understand the full implications of what it means to be saved, I decided to run to the source itself, which is the Bible. The more time I spent in God’s presence and his word, he gave me wisdom, knowledge and understanding. When I walk down the streets and see the damage on the faces I pass, I pray for them because they might not know how much Jesus loves them.

What I am emphasising here is that your Bible is the best teacher you will ever have. Your fellow Christians may be experienced and have much advise to give you, but that should not be your only source of knowledge. You have eyes, a brain and hands that God gave you. Read your Bible and seek direction on how to live your life. God gave you all the material you need for your mission. Like Paul, I will listen to my fellow brothers and sisters, but the voice inside of me that I know is from the Holy Spirit shall be my counsellor and intercessor. My decisions are not made by man, and I don’t have to please man to know that I am accepted. I don’t have to have a vision that they approve of or one that earns enough money for everyone to benefit. My mission is not for man’s approval, but God’s approval and my joy and happiness. It might sound selfish and wrong, but I would like to encourage each and every one of you to have a vision and mission that does not rely on people’s approval, but what God has put on your heart. Not everyone will go with you, and it is ok. When Jesus said, pick up your cross and follow me, he did not say carry a truck load of opinions from people as well. He said for you to put everything behind. Please don’t misunderstand me. God used prophets to speak to his people, and it is acceptable to listen to the wisdom around you. What I am saying you don’t need their approval to do what God had called you to do. Not everyone will approve of it. All the answers you need to your questions lie with him who called you in the first place. When you take the time and are not rushing out the door to different appointments, you will understand the letters he has written to you.

What man is he that feareth the Lord? Him shall he teach the way he shall choose… The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him… Psalm 25:12, 14 KJV

When God sets out to teach man, He chooses His students on the basis of character- not intellectual ability, or academic degrees, or social standing. He looks for an inner attitude of the heart toward Himself: Reverent submission and respect.

Furthermore, God sets the curriculum. He teaches such a man “in the way that he (God) shall choose.” Often this is not the way we would choose for ourselves. We might incline toward themes of prophecy or revelation that seems profound, whereas God’s curriculum might focus on what is humble and down-to-earth: service, sacrifice, faithfulness.

For those who submit to God’s instruction, there is a wonderful reward: “The secret of the LORD is with them that fear him.” In human relationships, we share our secrets only with those we trust. Likewise, when God shares His secrets with us, it is proof we have earned His trust. It is our certificate of graduation.

This is beautifully illustrated in the relationship of Jesus to His Disciples. After He had put them through three years of rigorous discipline, He told them: “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.” ( John 15:15). First, Jesus Himself learned from the Father through perfect submission to Him. Then He in turn passed on all He had learned from the Father to those who submitted in like manner to Him.

God still chooses His students on the same basis. Neither His requirements nor His curriculum have changed.

Faith’s Response

Lord, I desire to be such a student that in your time you will share your secrets with me.

PS: I want to be a student that does what my Father in heaven teaches me. I know my mission like Paul knew his and I shall go after it, with God as my only sense of direction. No man or woman can stop the rhythm of my heart that has been beating since the day I was called and set apart by God.

Here I walked all drenched and cold, wishing for my beautiful warm bed I had just left and the beautiful mug of tea I would be having had I just stayed home and thought it too wet to get out and go to church. Not sure if I can survive the wet shoes and wind blowing on my face, I turned to my friend and said “We need to go shopping.” Mind you, this is England.

For you who know nothing about this place, let me enlighten you in terms of weather. The weather is unpredictable. That’s about it (kidding).

On a serious note, the weather can be “WET” and “VERY WET.” These are the terms used for rainy days in Britain. (It’s a wet day today is what you would hear). It can be wet to the point that if by chance you put on the wrong pair of shoes in the morning like me, you would end up spending money you didn’t budget for. It’s like you have to be bonded with the weather to know which shoes to wear and not wear. Then you might ask me about weather forecast, and I can tell you that they have been predicting snow for the last few months and it hasn’t snowed yet. Back to me and my shoes.

Here we are trying not to be blown off by the wind, not to mention the rain that comes with it and my shoes get soaked and we haven’t gone half way to church. The umbrella did no good and we had to protect it from the unpredictable winds that destroy umbrellas to the point that you look up to heaven and thank God you were created human not an umbrella.

If I was an umbrella living in Britain, I would hide behind shelves to avoid being chosen for the rains. The winds reap them apart without mercy, making me wince on their behalf. O where was I? O Yes. Shoes.

So we stopped by a supermarket where I got gumboots. You probably are wandering why I didn’t just go back home and skip church or Why I had to buy shoes just because of a little rain and wind.

If by chance you live in Africa and love the nice rich warm rain and coolness it brings after a hot day, then I envy you right now. However, if you plan on moving over here, then I shall make it my assignment to educate you on British weather, which I myself, am still trying to comprehend. England weather is on another level. When it rains, it means it is warm and a hot day during winters. When the sun shines in the winter, don’t pack sun lotion on and think it’s a good day for the beach. On the contrary my friend, make sure you find the warmest coat, hat and gloves in the cupboard, and gear yourself up. OK. I am done rambling.

As I was saying, my feet froze from that little rain and wind. I had to get out of those cold wet shoes as well as my socks and enter the boots. I was told to prepare for winter not rain in the winter, so I prepared for snow which didn’t come.

We finally got to church 20mins late and found two slots to sit down. As I put my stuff down and tried to preserve my body heat, a tiny little hand took hold of my cold freezing hand. I glanced down and this tiny little, hmmmmmm… I can’t remember the colours of those little eyes, was looking up at me. I was so taken aback that it took me a few seconds to respond. He was a darling. He let go off my hand, then took it again, all the while smiling up at me. For those of you who do not fancy kids, this little angel would have melt the walls around your heart. His little gleeful smile took my breathe away. The frustration of being wet flew out the window. I however became conscious of his parents looking at me with smiles on their faces. My hands were cold, I mean very cold, although they had just come out of my warm gloves. Now you are getting the picture. Don’t play in the rain over here if you are used to dancing in it like someone I know.

At that moment, I thought I should let go off his little hands, but they clasped around mine so firmly, that I could do nothing be fully grasp his. I looked up to heaven and asked God silently, “is this your way of apologizing?” (hehehehehe. Gleeful smile). I laughed and smiled down at him, nudging my friend next to me.

All this while, he was sitting on his daddy’s lap. He had looked up at both parents with a beautiful smile, as if to say, “she needs me and I think I am doing something right.” Then he turned his head back cheerfully as if to say “They said its ok.”

That little gesture from a cute adorable, loving and year and half kid (guessed the age) to me was a special gift. I made him “My little Angel.”

It is a wonderful feeling to get behind the wheel for your first driving lesson. I felt extremely happy when Milicent told me to drive. So I pressed down the clutch, turned the car on, began adding gas while releasing the clutch slowly. I however released the clutch too much and the car died. After 30 days of learning, i was able to start the car and drive around somewhat. 30 days in itself does not really give you much practice, so how qualufied are you as i driver? When i got my temporary driving license, i felt like no one could stop me or stand in my way. I felt qualified to role with the big guys, along with crazy matatu drivers. Hahahaha. Milicent always called me the “matatu driver” (SMILE). Although i was qualified, was i ready to take the risks and protect life? When you are given that license, you are automatically handed the lives of all users in your hand. You are handed the responsibility to protect your life and that of other road users. Many times, unplanned accidents happened because we made a decision not to take care of someone’s life. Over Christmas, i came to understand that most accidents are caused by 16-17 year olds. When they receive a car for their 16 or 17th birthday, they go on high speed on the roads, putting their lives, passengers and other road users’ lives at risk. When you sit behind that wgeel, you are likely to cause accidents you didn’t plan. In the same way, when your parents set you free from home, you are allowed to make your own choices. You might choose to squander your money on sweet nothings or get unwanted pregnancy. Those are accidents of life. When you hold the wheel of hour life, the choices you make are determined by you and no one will take responsiblity for the outcome of your life. You are making the choices, and the accidents that come ftom those choices are yours alone. However, when you allow an expert to hold that wheel for you, lets say your driver, your parents and above all, God, you are likely to have less accidents. When I sit behind the wheel of my life, I tend to make a mess of it. When i try to do things of my own wheel, i fall flat on my face. When I allow God to sit behind the wheel of my life, he helps me follow his instructions, so that i can be a better driver. I find myself making less accidents or none at all. Joseph allowed God to have the wheel of his life. He allowed God to sit in the driver’s seat, because he knew that if he drove his own life, he would cause unwanted accidents. He was sold because of jealosy, too handsome to be passed by his master’s wife and too smart to waste his talent in prison. God took care of him because he allowed him to drive.

My request was nothing to begin with,

Yet you listened to every detailed word.

The detailed description was just a dream on my heart,

yet you listened to every Detailed word.

I laid down in my slumber with a heavy heart.

You awoke me with joy.

My request was nothing to begin with,

Yet you listened to every detailed word.

I saw him sitting at the table with familiar faces.

His face was joyous and filled with amusement.

They were all merry, reaching across the table sharing food.

In my slumber, i saw me outside the dream,

Sitting on the edge of my bed and asking you for a a chance to see him.

You left out no detail of my request.

How real can you get Lord?

I could not help but smile at you Father.

You listen to both big and small prayers.

To you, they are all the same, as long as they are earnest.

He got up and wwalked towards me. How real can you get Lord.

He took me in his arms just as i had requested.

We stood there in a long embrace and i knew you were there.

O Lord, how real can you get?

Your enormous love never ends.

In my desperate moments, I find no answer to my big requests.

It all seems Iike you have turned a deft ear to me.

Yet in th most insignificant requestlike a dream, you grant my request.

How real can you get Father?

All that’s left of me is to say thank you.

Thank you for listening to ALL my prayers, both great and small.