Here I walked all drenched and cold, wishing for my beautiful warm bed I had just left and the beautiful mug of tea I would be having had I just stayed home and thought it too wet to get out and go to church. Not sure if I can survive the wet shoes and wind blowing on my face, I turned to my friend and said “We need to go shopping.” Mind you, this is England.

For you who know nothing about this place, let me enlighten you in terms of weather. The weather is unpredictable. That’s about it (kidding).

On a serious note, the weather can be “WET” and “VERY WET.” These are the terms used for rainy days in Britain. (It’s a wet day today is what you would hear). It can be wet to the point that if by chance you put on the wrong pair of shoes in the morning like me, you would end up spending money you didn’t budget for. It’s like you have to be bonded with the weather to know which shoes to wear and not wear. Then you might ask me about weather forecast, and I can tell you that they have been predicting snow for the last few months and it hasn’t snowed yet. Back to me and my shoes.

Here we are trying not to be blown off by the wind, not to mention the rain that comes with it and my shoes get soaked and we haven’t gone half way to church. The umbrella did no good and we had to protect it from the unpredictable winds that destroy umbrellas to the point that you look up to heaven and thank God you were created human not an umbrella.

If I was an umbrella living in Britain, I would hide behind shelves to avoid being chosen for the rains. The winds reap them apart without mercy, making me wince on their behalf. O where was I? O Yes. Shoes.

So we stopped by a supermarket where I got gumboots. You probably are wandering why I didn’t just go back home and skip church or Why I had to buy shoes just because of a little rain and wind.

If by chance you live in Africa and love the nice rich warm rain and coolness it brings after a hot day, then I envy you right now. However, if you plan on moving over here, then I shall make it my assignment to educate you on British weather, which I myself, am still trying to comprehend. England weather is on another level. When it rains, it means it is warm and a hot day during winters. When the sun shines in the winter, don’t pack sun lotion on and think it’s a good day for the beach. On the contrary my friend, make sure you find the warmest coat, hat and gloves in the cupboard, and gear yourself up. OK. I am done rambling.

As I was saying, my feet froze from that little rain and wind. I had to get out of those cold wet shoes as well as my socks and enter the boots. I was told to prepare for winter not rain in the winter, so I prepared for snow which didn’t come.

We finally got to church 20mins late and found two slots to sit down. As I put my stuff down and tried to preserve my body heat, a tiny little hand took hold of my cold freezing hand. I glanced down and this tiny little, hmmmmmm… I can’t remember the colours of those little eyes, was looking up at me. I was so taken aback that it took me a few seconds to respond. He was a darling. He let go off my hand, then took it again, all the while smiling up at me. For those of you who do not fancy kids, this little angel would have melt the walls around your heart. His little gleeful smile took my breathe away. The frustration of being wet flew out the window. I however became conscious of his parents looking at me with smiles on their faces. My hands were cold, I mean very cold, although they had just come out of my warm gloves. Now you are getting the picture. Don’t play in the rain over here if you are used to dancing in it like someone I know.

At that moment, I thought I should let go off his little hands, but they clasped around mine so firmly, that I could do nothing be fully grasp his. I looked up to heaven and asked God silently, “is this your way of apologizing?” (hehehehehe. Gleeful smile). I laughed and smiled down at him, nudging my friend next to me.

All this while, he was sitting on his daddy’s lap. He had looked up at both parents with a beautiful smile, as if to say, “she needs me and I think I am doing something right.” Then he turned his head back cheerfully as if to say “They said its ok.”

That little gesture from a cute adorable, loving and year and half kid (guessed the age) to me was a special gift. I made him “My little Angel.”

It is a wonderful feeling to get behind the wheel for your first driving lesson. I felt extremely happy when Milicent told me to drive. So I pressed down the clutch, turned the car on, began adding gas while releasing the clutch slowly. I however released the clutch too much and the car died. After 30 days of learning, i was able to start the car and drive around somewhat. 30 days in itself does not really give you much practice, so how qualufied are you as i driver? When i got my temporary driving license, i felt like no one could stop me or stand in my way. I felt qualified to role with the big guys, along with crazy matatu drivers. Hahahaha. Milicent always called me the “matatu driver” (SMILE). Although i was qualified, was i ready to take the risks and protect life? When you are given that license, you are automatically handed the lives of all users in your hand. You are handed the responsibility to protect your life and that of other road users. Many times, unplanned accidents happened because we made a decision not to take care of someone’s life. Over Christmas, i came to understand that most accidents are caused by 16-17 year olds. When they receive a car for their 16 or 17th birthday, they go on high speed on the roads, putting their lives, passengers and other road users’ lives at risk. When you sit behind that wgeel, you are likely to cause accidents you didn’t plan. In the same way, when your parents set you free from home, you are allowed to make your own choices. You might choose to squander your money on sweet nothings or get unwanted pregnancy. Those are accidents of life. When you hold the wheel of hour life, the choices you make are determined by you and no one will take responsiblity for the outcome of your life. You are making the choices, and the accidents that come ftom those choices are yours alone. However, when you allow an expert to hold that wheel for you, lets say your driver, your parents and above all, God, you are likely to have less accidents. When I sit behind the wheel of my life, I tend to make a mess of it. When i try to do things of my own wheel, i fall flat on my face. When I allow God to sit behind the wheel of my life, he helps me follow his instructions, so that i can be a better driver. I find myself making less accidents or none at all. Joseph allowed God to have the wheel of his life. He allowed God to sit in the driver’s seat, because he knew that if he drove his own life, he would cause unwanted accidents. He was sold because of jealosy, too handsome to be passed by his master’s wife and too smart to waste his talent in prison. God took care of him because he allowed him to drive.

My request was nothing to begin with,

Yet you listened to every detailed word.

The detailed description was just a dream on my heart,

yet you listened to every Detailed word.

I laid down in my slumber with a heavy heart.

You awoke me with joy.

My request was nothing to begin with,

Yet you listened to every detailed word.

I saw him sitting at the table with familiar faces.

His face was joyous and filled with amusement.

They were all merry, reaching across the table sharing food.

In my slumber, i saw me outside the dream,

Sitting on the edge of my bed and asking you for a a chance to see him.

You left out no detail of my request.

How real can you get Lord?

I could not help but smile at you Father.

You listen to both big and small prayers.

To you, they are all the same, as long as they are earnest.

He got up and wwalked towards me. How real can you get Lord.

He took me in his arms just as i had requested.

We stood there in a long embrace and i knew you were there.

O Lord, how real can you get?

Your enormous love never ends.

In my desperate moments, I find no answer to my big requests.

It all seems Iike you have turned a deft ear to me.

Yet in th most insignificant requestlike a dream, you grant my request.

How real can you get Father?

All that’s left of me is to say thank you.

Thank you for listening to ALL my prayers, both great and small.

God is so amazing. The moments spent in prayer with him always leaves me light hearted after we have had an understanding. Today morning as I was turning in for bed, I took off my bathrobe so I could sleep (Don’t worry, I had my PJs underneath). I had just spend about 30 minutes praying and talking to God, and in the meantime had warmed up my bathrobe. As I turned off the lights and was folding the bathrobe, the little crackling noises came from the robe. In the dark, I could see the sparks of light; almost as if the fireworks were celebrating the time I had just had with God.

I turned the lights back on and began writing. As I was writing about the sparks, two thoughts occurred in my head. We are always scared of the dark, yet the Bible said the light and darkness don’t have a union. The darkness fears light. In as much as these little sparks were small, the glowed in the darkness, letting me see them. If I had left big lights on, I would not have seen those tiny sparks in the darkness. This revelation reminded me of our faith.

We have people with little faith and small brilliant ideas, yet they refuse to venture out because they are comparing themselves with the great Christians of faith shown or seen on TV. We think we can never match up to them.

The good thing is that God does not call people with big faiths. Jesus said, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can tell a mountain to move and it will move. Not everyone is gifted with the same gifts. God has given us all a measure of faith and we need not hide behind big names or figures. Sometimes we tend to hide behind big lights or are scared to let the faith we have shine, because we are often shadowed by the big person that we look up to, hoping to one day be like them. God has called you to know your mission and know how you can serve God with the little he has given you.

If the big lights were on, I would not have seen the little sparks made in the dark by my own clothing had the lights been on. God does not need you to compare yourself. He needs you to do your best like the sparks of light in the dark. They glowed, announcing their presence. Your faith needs to glow in the dark, in the light and in the sunshine. Let is glow no matter how small it is. Your gifts are yours and you need to nurture them according to how God wants to use you. Stand up for your faith and don’t hide behind someone else’s faith.

It’s all about you Jesus. And all this is for you, for your glory and your fame. It’s not about me, as if you should do things my way. You alone are God and I surrender, to your ways.

May I have no excuse for not serving you Father

May my heart be a bundle of joy for you Lord

May I not say what I want, but only what you want Lord

May I not join in conversations that you will not join in Father

May I have a heart that’s quick to forgive like yours Father

May I not give solutions to problems, but pray for them Lord

May I not think myself better than other, but show me how I can become a better person

May I never say what you would not say Jesus

May I go where I know you would go Lord

May I watch what I know you would Father

My life is not my own, to you I belong, I give myself to you.

Lord, have me as I am and change the me that I want, to the me that you want Father.

Help me to stop asking “what’s wrong with this person; to what does Jesus see when he looks at this person?

Father, I want to grow more into your word. I want to connect with you in every way.

Take my hand Lord. I am yours.