Monthly Archives: November 2014

Building Godly Friendships

Posted on by

Who is your friend? Can you look at the person you are with and call them your friend? Friends as defined by my beautiful dictionary, is a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. In a Christian context, who is your friend? This is not limited to a male-female relationship, but friendship without strings attached. How would we define friendship in a Godly way?

3 We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you,4 because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— 5 the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel6 that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.

These verses in Colossians have been speaking to me for a few days, and I thank God for the Holy Spirit. When it convicts you to do something, don’t say later. Do it the moment it prompts you. I had been listening to a sermon on Youtube about Godly Frienships, because I wanted to understand how I could be a better friend to my friends. I wanted to live, worship and praise God together with them, no matter the gender. As I was listening to the message, the preacher highlighted a number of things which we often overlook. In Godly friendships,

1. Friends put God above all other relationships. This means that friends are able to say NO to their friends if they believe that something is wrong and not right in the eyes of God, hence they shall not part-take, even if it means loosing a good friend.

2. Friends create Spiritual Conversations: How does one create a spiritual conversation? I have found it easy to come up with a story that happened and explain how God helped me look at the situation. You just need to start talking and see where the Holy Spirit leads you.

3. Pray for your friends: Do you miss your friends? Are you waiting for them to call you up, send you a message because you have done it way too many times? Don’t wait around for them, call them up because you miss them and pray for them. The time I had come across this third area, I was going through an emotional melt down against one of my friends. When I came across this point, I had to run to God, and pray for my friend. Later, I was able to tell them how sorry I had been for being angry at them. I should have understood their situation. God had prepared my heart as I prayed and asked for forgiveness.

4. Friends are grace givers: Friends forgive anyone who offends them. Are you able to forgive your friends? I often look at forgiveness in terms of God’s grace in our lives. We do not forgive because we are nice people, kind and compassionate, but we forgive because Jesus forgave us on the cross.

We most often misinterpret friendship with relationships. There’s a difference in being in a friendship with an opposite gender, and being in a relationship with them. Being in a friendship to me means, there’s no romanticism in that friendship, but mutual understanding, appreciation and fun. We can also argue that two people of the opposite gender cannot spend too much time together and not have feelings for each other. This argument would definitely be valid. However, Not all friendships are based on romantic feelings. Of course, one person might feel like they wish there was more, but I would advise you ladies especially. If you like a guy and he shows indifference in how he treats you, although he might be very gentlemanly, do not possess him as if he was already yours. He is not. He is just probably being a brother to you.

Again, men, do not send the wrong vibes (messages) to a woman if you know she might read what you are not ready to offer. Make it clear-cut what your intentions are so that she is able to know her stance with you in that friendship (yawning big. Need to sleep). Come to a mutual understanding of where you both lie. Will you get hurt if that man ask a different woman out and not you? Will you get mad if that young woman goes out with a different man and not you? These are some of the questions you need to establish within your friendships, so that no body is hurt at the end. These are all words of wisdom gathered from my friends.

Friends are meant to be there for you, building you up spiritually, because they know you are also there for them. They are there to pray for you like Paul says in the verses above. I always thank my God for all of you because of your faith. Friends are able to remember their friends and the works God is doing in them, and thank God for that work. This is because they know that the work will produce more fruits and shade light in the darkness.

Just because a guy ask you if you want to hangout over some coffee and hot chocolate, does not mean, they are asking you to marry them. Even if they happen to ask you out on a date, it does not mean you should set the wedding day. They are merely wanting to know you and spend some time with you because they are your friend and you probably haven’t seen them. They might also just want to have a conversation about your life or about something they would like to share with you. These are things we often overlook in our friendships. Building Godly friendships actually enables you as an individual to reflect on who you are to your friends. Do you want something from them, or you can be their friends without being in a relationship. I would love to write more, but my eyes are not listening to me right now. Hopefully I made some sense out there.

They will have no fear of bad News

Posted on by

Psalm 112:6-8 NIV

Surely the righteous will never be shaken; they will be remembered forever. They will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord . Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear; in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

It has been a while since I came across this Psalm. Reading it again brought so much joy and renewed strength. They will have no fear of bad news. This speaks out to me in a new way. I was once in a relationship and loved the man so much, but I was always afraid of how I would feel; and what people would think of our relationship, if it ever ended. As time went by, I realized that the man could not and should not be my source of happiness. When the relationship finally ended, not that I had prayed for it to end, all fears were gone. I was able to trust in God’s word and his ability to fix a broken heart and bring healing.
Parents constantly dread seeing a police car outside their door. The first thought on their minds probably goes to their child. In a hospital room, families wait in anticipation for news from the doctors praying that the doctor would say something contrary to what they already know. We fear bad news every day. The Psalmist says that “surely the righteous will never be shaken…Their hearts are secure in the Lord” and they are able to face the unwanted news with a trusting heart, knowing that whatever happens God is in  control.
I  began trusting the Lord from the age of eighteen when I had no idea where my life was headed. I wanted to live without fear, thus I found my security in him. He has always stepped in to rescue me when I needed him. In the past seven years, I have faced many obstacles in my life, and God has been the only one to give me strength. Being able to pray for others and encourage them has encouraged me to be brave and strong in the Lord.
I just thought I should share a little of how these verses have been true to me. Right now I am trusting in God for direction. I want to find a job, but I seem to be running out of time.  Yet I know God is a God of miracles. He makes plans that we cannot understand. I shall trust in him for the next stage of my life.

What Choice did I have?

Posted on by

I know we often get distracted in prayer by our thoughts, the noise, the scenery or the people around us. It is natural. Sometimes though, the best time in prayer, is when you turn everything around you into a prayer or thanksgiving. Our thoughts could become a centre of praise or a centre of seeking forgiveness for the thoughts going through our minds. Dangerous Beauty is a movie, set in the 16th Century in Venice, and is based on a true story of a young woman, who was trained by her own mother to become a Courtesan, which means a prostitute that’s highly paid by wealthy and upper-class clients. It is almost like a Geisha in Japan, who is trained to entertain men through music, conversations, dance and is paid for her services.

As I sat down to pray this morning, my mind wondered to the movies I had watched and centered on “Dangerous Beauty”. I just started thanking God for the many opportunities women have to choose as professions today. We have so many opportunities to make a difference, and some of these women were properties with nothing to their name. The only wealth most could get was to marry into wealthy families, even if the man was twice their age. Courtesans were mistresses to the wealthy men, who married on contract, even if their wives tried to love them. They were taught to be good wives and bear heirs, which some of our cultures still instilled in us today. I am not saying this is wrong for a woman to be a good wife and to have children. It is a blessing for a woman to bear children, but their lives should not be limited to bearing children and being house wives.

These women were hated by the privileged married women, because they apparently ‘stole’ their husbands from them. Do we often sit and ask ourselves were we would be today, had life continued in that mind-set of the world? Veronica Franco, the main character, never wished for such a life. Though she was judged and condemned by the very people that used her, she fought back through poetry (see more http://www.lib.uchicago.edu/efts/IWW/BIOS/A0017.html) raising awareness of the unfair treatment of women by men. Education was mainly for men who could afford it, but Franco was able to gain it through her brother’s tutors. This set her above all the other courtesans, because she was able to hold  conversations, play music, ask intellectual questions to the men and provoke their thoughts.

In those days, Christianity was not what we understand it today. Everything was in black and white. So much hypocrisy was going on that true faith and virtue was not actualized. The very priests that condemned the courtesans were the same ones who would sleep with them. This is not to say we do not have that today. We still see Christianity used today for personal gain, and it does sure break our Father’s heart. We should be grateful for the faith we have in the Lord Jesus Christ today and his wisdom and knowledge, which leads and guides us.

I pray for the many homes, cities and countries, were women, children and youths are oppressed and deprived of opportunities, and were God has been misrepresented. I pray for God’s wisdom, knowledge and understanding to abound in these areas, so that people are able to show love, kindness, empowerment and encouragement. Before we judge a person, understand them, put yourself in their shoe and see life from their perspective. Proverbs 18:2 says “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion”. Help me Lord to be understanding, and to see things from your perspective.

TOO BUSY TO LISTEN

Posted on by

Yesterday was quite a day for me. As I walked into my volunteering place in the morning, I tried to find my happiness. My happiness in the mornings often comes from a beautiful quiet moment with God and a song. But if I had not had that beautiful talk with my father in the morning, then I feel a little guilty. Lisa (boss) read the story of Martha and Mary (Luke 10:38-42). For many people who do not know the story, the summary is this: Jesus comes to visit Martha and Mary. Martha busy herself with making refreshments and yummy stuff for the guests, while Mary like some people who don’t like work, lazily (according to some of us and Martha) sits and listens to Jesus speak. Martha gets mad that she’s not helping and complains to Jesus. Jesus says Martha, you made a choice to worry about food and Mary made a choice to sit and listen to the word. Mary has chosen wisely. He was not saying Martha was not doing right, but that this could have been done later or earlier before Jesus arrived (My thought). It is all about what we do first. The question was, are you a Martha or a Mary?

As we were discussing and reflecting on our daily lives, I realized how much of a Martha I had become in the past few weeks. I have been worrying about my upcoming driving theory test; the amount of time I was not spending with God; finding a job or travelling home; relationships; friends and what my future will be like. Alison shared something she had gotten over the weekend along the same lines. We the Marthas worry a lot about the things of the past and the things of the future. We forget to live for the present and we live in the past and the future. The past speaks of the things we did wrong, or could have done and should have done. It holds us bondage as we try to understand the outcomes had we done what we didn’t do. Or we appreciate the past more than the present and relive what we had in the past and not the present. For the future, we are afraid of what it will look like. We worry about jobs (me and others), our decisions and the people in our lives, as well as the circumstances. All this worrying prevents us from listening to God and talking to him. When we do talk to him, we find ourselves distracted from all the worrying. God tells us to cast all our anxiety on him.

This morning as I woke up, I was really excited for the day. I took my Bible out and kept saying thank you Lord for a new morning. I realized I was merely repeating what I do every morning. I found myself distracted by so many things. Thoughts of my friends came into my mind. I tried singing a song to get back into the quiet mood, but nothing really happened. I began worrying about my quiet time. If it is not productive, then I will probably not have a productive day. For a good 10mins I tried praying many times, but the right words were not coming out. I started thinking about the jobs I had applied to and how none of them had responded to me. I started questioning my heart and what if I was pretending to be ok with God making the decision for me. All these things going through my mind, I could not even find my Father in the mist of all these things in my mind and heart. I wanted to cry, but felt empty and very distracted and seeing so many wrongs. That’s when I remembered the devotions yesterday and what we had discussed about. The Bible says that we cannot serve two masters at once, or we will favour one over the other. This morning, I was feeding my worries rather than having a peaceful quiet and honest time with God.

I closed my eyes and opened my hands as a sign of surrender. I began the prayer by thanking God for who he was and for being there for me even when I get distracted. As I thanked him for the many ways he has been there for me, revealing himself in his word, I found the words easily. The words flooded out like they had been holding back for years. I began to feel his presence with me, and my heart was in line with his. I marvelled at his goodness and love. That when I realized that talking to God should be something natural, because it comes from your heart and it shouldn’t be a rehearsed prayer. Most often, we come with an agenda and forget to let him know that we love him always even if our requests are not met. I was able to smile and trust that God knows exactly what he is doing. Even being able to write these words, was a miracle from him, for I had tried writing two times, but couldn’t find the right words.

We need to remember that what we are doing today is what the Lord wants us to do NOW. We should learn to live in the now and not worry about the things of life. We can acknowledge that things need to be done, but we cannot busy ourselves with doing so much that we forget to nourish our spirits. We cannot focus on being there for a friend if we cannot devote the same amount of time or even more to God. We shouldn’t let our work become everything that we do not spend that time with God. If it was not for him, you will not be where you are today. Being a Martha is beautiful, but sometimes you just need to become a Mary and listen to God’s voice. Don’t think you know better than he does.

THE PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES

Posted on by

There’s nothing new under the sun, says the old wise king Solomon. He was very right about that. When I think of the many women and men today who feel terrible about themselves, I shake my head. Some have taken to depression, because they feel like they are not good enough, they will never be someone who others admire, appreciate or consider as one of them in the society. Others turn to bad eating habits, which include, overeating or eating less. All because someone out there, told them they were skinny, fat, or nothing.

The people in our lives are the ones we consider as loved ones, close friends and our support system. They are the ones who encourage us, empower us and push us to be better. However, if all we ever get out of them are negative comments which destroy our self-image, confidence and potentials, then these are not people we should keep, unless they are your family members and you can do nothing about them, except to forgive them

Nothing we go through today is new, for people in the past have experienced it as well. At this point, I would like to direct us not to a negative example, but a positive example of people we should have in our lives.  Joshua was a “young” warrior, who had just had his master Moses taken from him. He was appointed the new leader of Israel and given the task to take the Israelite across the Jordan River into the Promise Land. He was told to be strong and courageous, and God promised in Joshua 1:5 that “No one will be able to stand up against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, So I will be with you:I will never leave you nor forsake you.” This is a mighty promise, which God kept. I often put myself in Joshua’s spot, assimilating the words as mine. However, I was very much moved by what the warriors said to him.

He talked to the tribes that already had their lands to the East of Jordan. They had promised to help their brothers claim their own lands when time came for them to occupy it. What gives me pride about these people, is that they said to Joshua, “Whatever you have commanded us we will do, and wherever you send us we will go. Just as we fully obeyed Moses, so we will obey you. ONLY MAY THE LORD your God be with you as he was with Moses” Joshua 1:16-17. How I see this, is that these men knew that Joshua was their chosen leader, who had commanded them as a warrior and led them through many battles. They didn’t look to his skills as a warrior, but pledged their lives to him, as long as God was the one leading and guiding him as he did Moses. They were willing to lay down their lives for him as long as he was doing what God had called him to do. Those were the friends and support system he had.

I have many wonderful people in my life, who have been there for me, encouraging me to be who God has called me to be. They have been praying for me, with me and have never given up on my dreams and visions for the future. They knew and still know that as long as God was/is leading me and guiding me, nothing would be impossible for me. I thank God each and everyday for the prayer warriors he has placed around me. My grandmother has never stopped believing in what God has called me to do and she has not complained about the amount of time and effort she has spent sending me through school. Although we have no specific fruits and results for all love and care she has shown me, she has not stopped encouraging me, providing for me and loving me as well as praying for me. My mother, although far away from me, she wipes my tears over the phone, when I feel like I am not worthy and confident enough to carry out my mission. In her voice, I am able to hear God’s voice, letting me know that I can trust him and letting me know that he sees and cares. The warm hugs I get from my friends and the smiles they have when they see me, encourages me and lifts my spirits, letting me know that it is not the end. Things will work out even if the world seems to say otherwise.

These people in my life have empowered the woman I am today, and like Joshua, I am grateful to have them. I am not afraid of what they will think of me, because I know that they will always love me and encourage me as long as I am doing what God has called me to do. It doesn’t matter what others say about you if you are doing what God has called you to do. If you are trusting that he will never leave you nor forsake you, then he will put people around you who will become your support system and encourage you through prayers, songs, laughter and a good time. God is with you through the people he places in your life that are meant to encourage you and be there for you. They should be able to make you laugh, when all you want to do is cry, and they should be able to say you are beautiful, even when you have makeup smeared all over your face. They should be able to tell you that you are loved and precious when everyone else says NO, because you and I are made in God’s image and we are precious. Who are the people in your life? Do they encourage you or put you down?

I AM SORRY FOR THE CHOICES I MADE

Posted on by

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the West, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.  Psalm 103:8-12

In the past eleven months of my stay in Bradford and volunteering with Bradford Central Foodbank, I have come across people who felt hopeless in their situations. I have invited many to church, and most would say “I used to go to church, but God did nothing for me”. I was especially moved last week when this man came in and you could hear in his voice that he was desperate to get out of his situation. He explained that he had started going to church in hopes that God would reach out to him and free him from the bondage of drugs. When that didn’t happen, he became resentful towards his friend who had been set free and the church and most of all, God. I felt like giving him a hug and crying with him, but that would have been inappropriate and unprofessional. I just smiled at him and prayed in my heart for the right words to speak to him.

Something that Nick Vujicic said in one of his sermons came back to me. Looking to God and asking him “Why?” Why am I the only one in this situation? Why can I not get out of the situation I am in? You promised to be there for me, but you are not. Why am I the only one trying to get out and you are not helping me like you did to others? I felt so much love for this man who desperately wanted to understand what he was doing wrong. As I looked at him, I told him to just listen. I prayed for the right words to come out, and I began talking.

I told him he was on the right track seeking a path to get out of his bondage. I told him God was in pain with him and wishing to bring him home. I then asked him what his prayers involved. Sometimes we turn to God asking the why question, trying to make God explain himself to us, when it should be the other way around. The “why” questions often lead us to thinking that God only keeps the wrong things we do, and is punishing us for the things we did. God like every father does discipline those he loves, but let us not confuse his discipline for unforgiveness.

I then asked him if he went to God with a heart of repentance seeking forgiveness for the choices he had made or did he go to God, demanding an explanation, as well as telling God that God owes him. He stopped for a moment and said ‘I think, my prayers always involved me controlling the situation and demanding an explanation. I had never stopped to think about it.” We talked a lot more and I began to see a new hope in his eyes. He had not had friends who were supportive and encouraging, nor people from within the church to lead and encourage him. He didn’t have people to talk to that would advise him and be there for him. Since it was already closing time, I told him that he should come by anytime to Foodbank and talk to any of us and we would be there for him.

I explained to him that God loves him and wishes to have him home. The connection he seeks with God comes when he recognizes the choices he has made that has wounded God. The true healing process will begin when he confesses to God that he has done so many wrongs and is unable to save himself. He confessed that he has tried many things to try and free himself, including church as mentioned above, but the connection with God was still not fixed. His heart, from a human perspective, seemed to be ready, but only God sees and knows. So I told him I will be praying for him and he should visit more often for a chat or lunch.

Psalm 103 clearly states that God is compassionate and gracious. He does not stand there accusing us and tormenting us with our sins, but he loves us abundantly. When we understand this love and how he sees us, we will then understand that God does not hold a grudge against us, but forgives and waits for us to repent of our wrongs. Nothing to him is a secret. He is all knowing and wants a relationship with us and not just a controlling and demanding relationship. Some people would ask, if God knows everything and knew the choices I would make, then why did he allow it to happen? God gave us free choices, but do we have to choose the wrong things? Do you have to go where you know you shouldn’t because you have been given the choice? If he controlled us, we would still complain and ask him why? God loves us enough to let us know that the world, will deceive us, entice us and drag us, yet he allows us the freedom to say NO or YES, praying that the part of him which is in us, will speak to us. We are made in his image and the still small voice that usually says ‘DON’T’ and we ignore it, is usually God’s voice. At the end of the day, we make a choice and if that was a wrong choice, it is up to us to come back to him and say “Father, I have sinned against you. Please forgive me for not listening to your voice”. That’s a beautiful relationship that God designed for us and him through his  son Jesus Christ. Jesus paid the price for our sins and we can come to him and confess our sins and allow God to fill the void inside our hearts. We deserve punishment and death for our sins, but God in his love and compassion, gave us Jesus as an atoning sacrifice. Try not to ask WHY, but say I AM SORRY for the choices I made.