Marriage is not for children, nor is it for self-centered people.

Over the few years of my marriage, I have come to understand the true meaning of the word “marriage”. Just before I share with you my understanding, I have a question for you. When you stood in front of the judge, mayor, official or pastor and vowed to take ____________ to be your lawful wedded _____________, did you know what it entailed? To be honest, I thought I knew, but I grew to fully understand the meaning of those vows.

The day you say I do, you literally say that I give up my personal agenda to make decisions and do what I want. You agree to compliment, be a companion and a helper to your spouse.

As a complimentary spouse, you become his missing piece. In this role, you basically help see things from another angle. When you have decisions and choices to make or ideas and goals you would like to achieve, you run those ideas by your spouse, so you both can evaluate the advantages and disadvantages to these ideas and goals as a couple. Your goal is to build success in your home together without minimizing the other’s efforts. You are there to encourage and affirm each other’s efforts, and it doesn’t matter who earns more than the other. Whatever skill the other is lacking in, you make up for it. For example, I am pretty good at organizing the house, documents and filing things. I can easily tell you where something is, while my husband on the other hand can barely keep up with where things are. Yet he has other skills that I don’t have. So we are complimentary in those areas where one fits more than the other. He is pretty good at analyzing things, and I am good at executing them. It might be annoying to constantly hit a wall while you are trying to teach your spouse, but you shouldn’t give up. We all learn at different paces, and God has called us to truly exercise patience with one another. Furthermore, you are there to build a strong home that you will be proud of in the years ahead, and your children will learn from you.

In terms of being a companion, God said “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him” (Gen 2:18) What does this mean to spouses? Why did God make that statement? If you look at the previous verses, you will find that God had given Adam the task to “cultivate it and guard it” (Gen 2:15). The “it” refers to the garden which God made. This was a huge task for Adam, so God decided to make for him a suitable helper to help him.  After he made Eve for Adam, we are told that Adam looked at her and was pleased. In verse 24, the bible says “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.” Spouses must be very important if they are willing to part from their family homes and to go and make a home for themselves with the one they love.

How would that companionship look like in our 21^st century? I would guess it means sharing time together. This would include going out together as husband and wife and not as separate entities. You basically give up your boys or girls hangout evenings and make time for those once in a while because you are no longer a single person. It also means visiting friends together as a couple to provide a sense of security, accountability and inclusiveness as a couple. You cut down on the time spent with friends when you were single, for your spouse has filled that gap. This doesn’t mean you should not see your friends or try to spend time with them, but you let them know that your time is dedicated to wanting to build your relationship with your spouse, and they should respect that. Your should understand that you respect them and care about their emotional state; hence, you want to make decisions that build your relationship and not break it.

In line with being a companion, you are also a helper to your spouse. This can range from chores (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, house organization and dishes), finances to protection from outside. As a spouse, you need to remind yourself that you are each other’s companions; hence no one is a slave to the other. It doesn’t matter who brings the pay check home. Out of respect and love for one another, you ask each other how you can be of assistance. If you happen to come home earlier than the other person (taken that you both work full time jobs), find out what you can do to assist the other, so that dinner is on the table on time. Ladies, we need to up our game a little bit more and strife for excellence in our kitchens (I have been slagging in it a little). My mother always told us that the kitchen is a woman’s pride. This is where she wins her husband. In a way, that is how I captured my husband’s heart. The moment you enter through the door, ask yourself if you have food for your family to eat. Make a decision on when you would like to eat dinner as a family, so you can plan to have dinner ready by that time. I know we live in a world today where every little action calls for feminism, but I also understand that I love my husband and want to cook for him. I want people to understand that he has a wife that cares and takes care of him. Therefore, I would not want someone to tell me someday that I am not feeding my husband well. Before I even met him, I had asked God to build me into the woman he needs me to be for my husband, so that I can be ready for when he comes. Daily, I strife to become that woman. This begins with me wanting to feed him well and at a good time. I am trying to say that we should not expect them to cook, but we should be thankful when they offer to cook. NEVER ask your husband to cook when he tells you that he is hungry. First, what were you doing without cooked food? Consider your husband as your first child. Through him, you will learn to have food ready for your home when the children do come if you already do not have them. Children should not be hungry at home with food in the fridge. Have dinner or lunch ready before you start to do anything work related, so that they know they can serve themselves. Also, if either spouse won’t be home for dinner, call and inform the other that you will be late for dinner depending on your arrangement with them. These things take communication and understanding back and forth with each other and not arguments between each other where it is my way or the highway (nothing).

For the rest of the chores, you can work a schedule out with each other, so that you both know your responsibilities. Once, those responsibilities have been set, try not to load it over each other. Give each other time to get used to the arrangements (I must confess that I was quite terrible at it when we first started, but after much trial and fail, we began to get the hang of things). Find a gentle way to remind each other of your responsibilities especially if someone does not do theirs, and they become a hindrance to you needing to accomplish your own task. Avoid accusing each other and needless arguments, for they will become more of an obstacle in your journey to maturity. Don’t hold grudges. They are not healthy. If anything, try and resolve them when you are both calm. Listen to each other before cutting in, so you are actually listening.  

Finances are usually the greatest challenge in a marriage, especially when both individuals are so used to spending money how they want and making decisions because they are alone. However, when you agree to “joint” property and “joint” everything in your marriage certificate, it basically meant that your earnings will no longer be yours alone. DON’T STOP YET. HEAR ME OUT. Sometimes we have this misconception in relationships that the man is supposed to do everything for the family when it concerns finances. Even in a dating relationship, there’s the expectation that the man has to pay for the meals, give money so the lady maintains herself to look good for him. EXCUSE ME, there is no law that says he has to. However, in a marriage situation, he is as society has placed it, supposed to fend for the family. Nowhere is it written that a woman cannot support her husband with her earnings. How will you achieve those wonderful dreams if you only expect your husband to bring in the money? He may not have the amazing dream job you had hope your husband would have, but it doesn’t mean you love him less. It breaks my heart to watch women walk out on their husbands because they do not earn as much as them or because the husband is unable to provide for everything that the family needs. My question usually is, what have you done as their companion and helper to help them? Did you marry them for what they can provide for you, or did you marry them because they are the one you love and want to spend the rest of your life with them with or without the fat pay check?

I understand that men also have the misconception that they are the man of the house and provide for the needs of the home, so why should they put the extra effort to clean or cook or take care of the children while the wife is there. The simple answer is this: YOU CARE AND LOVE YOUR WIFE ENOUGH NOT TO LET HER SHOULDER EVERYTHING. In as much as society defined these roles for us, we can make decisions on how to go about them because we love and respect each other. So, men should not feel all high and mighty that they provide for the house (especially when the wife is a sit-a-home mom) for she has a full time job at home.

Women, if you happen to be earning much more money than your husband, do not let it get to your head where you minimize him and look down on him. It hurts when I hear my neighbours insult their husbands and call them names because they do not have a stable job or do not earn as much as their friends do. Yet, they have the most expensive hairdos, shoes, makeup, nails and so on. It baffles me always when people complain that they do not have money to save, but when you take a look at their dressing, you understand where all the money go. Ladies and gentlemen, I understand that you want to look good, but should you look good at the expense of your bank account? Are you planning to have a family? Do you have a family? How are you planning for their future? The extra income you earn is not for you to spend it how you want, but it is for you to put in your joint account, so you can realize the projects you have as a couple. It doesn’t matter how much you earn, but you are able to show your support for each other through your earnings.

For example, I earn a good salary more than my husband, but he knows how much I earn. I don’t hide it from him nor does he hide his earnings from me. At the end of the month, we know where all that money is going to go. Also, any financial decision, we consult each other because we are trying to save for the projects we have. We agreed to have a set allowance for each other which is not very high because we understand that we have projects, and we cannot spend money any how we want just because we individually earned it. Despite having a good salary, I still hustle on the side such as proctoring/invigilating international exams, just so I can have extra revenues to help my husband build our home. This is all in addition to his own hustling and salary. I work late nights and early mornings, just so I can have my work completed. I do have things I would love to spend money on, but I usually go to my husband to ask him if we have money at all to buy it. As the financial manager of our home, he would let me know what our financial situation is like and help me understand that it might not be the wisest thing to spend money that could instead help solve our problems. At the beginning of our marriage, it wasn’t easy, but gradually, I began to understand the wisdom behind his thinking.

Finally, you are your spouse’s helper when you protect them. You are able to see past their limitations and appreciate the qualities that make him/her stand out. I must confess that I had struggled with that at the beginning when I expected my husband to do more than what he was showing me. With time, I realized that he is just human and needs me to at least appreciate the efforts he was making even though they were not at the pace I would have loved for him to go. Gradually, I realized that I wasn’t doing him any justice if all I did was focus on his mistakes or limitations. The more I appreciated his efforts, the more I saw him grow and become more confident in being a husband. I grew as well in the way I approached things. Rather than wanting things my way, I began to let him do things his way. Our relationship grew stronger. Whenever, I would hear someone talk down on him, I would stand up for him and defend his honour because he is mine, and I am proud of him. We may have little misunderstandings here and there, but one thing I have learnt is to never disrespect my husband or talk to him any how in public.

I guess what I am trying to share as lessons that I have learnt is that a good marriage only works if there is:

1. GOD – When he is the center of your home, he gives you both wisdom to look at things through his perfect eyes. Your decisions and choices will strife to bring him glory.
2. Sacrifice – giving up your wants to look at what is more important for your family (couple life).
3. Shared affection – being able to do something special for the other (little surprises that come from your heart and from you knowing your other half (taking them out to a special place just the two of you without friends, washing their car, making special breakfast for them or special dinner and appreciating their efforts with words of affirmation).
4. Communication – share your thoughts on ideas and bring ideas to the table that would help build your home. Also, when you learn to make decisions together it develops trust and honesty as well as unity.
5. Team-work – making decisions as a couple and not as individuals especially when it concerns finances. You are not on opposite teams, so do not compete with each other.
6.  Compromise and Respect – Being able to listen to each other’s points of view and appreciate the pros and cons before seeing together if something else can be removed or added to fit both your needs.

This is way longer than I had anticipated, but I hope my discoveries about marriage can also help you in your home. I am still learning and adjusting even as I write down these thoughts. Believe you me, there’s more that can be said. Feel free to share your thoughts below.

“Mother, how are you doing today?” “I am much better. We are just busy burying children and people almost every week. I am in the garden and can hear gunshots”.

This is a regular conversation I have with my beautiful mother who lives in the heart of a conflict she does not desire like so many families who have lost loved ones. She has an elderly uncle she takes care of and refuses to abandon him to flee.

A strong Christian woman, she prays and puts everything into God’s hands as so many do. Though far from her and wishing to have her close by, we join her in prayers because God asks us to bring everything to him in prayer, and we are tired of bloodshed. Our nature has always been to maintain peace and abide by the law.

After our adoption into God’s family, our new nature requires us to honor God in our words and actions. To be honest, it is easier thought than done; we have asked God to end the conflict and restore the peace we once had.

Though no response has come through yet, we will not lose faith. Our hope is built on him wjo has fulfilled his promises over and over. His word says that he never changes, which means he hears us, and he will be the one to set us free.

In the midst of unanswered prayers, I will lift up my eyes to the hills, and cry to him who provides for all our needs.

“Madame tu as beaucoup manger (madam you have eaten a lot)”, said my formal student from my previous school when she saw my protruding baby bump in a grocery shop. In Cameroon, when someone tells you that you have eaten a lot, it means you are pregnant. In light of the context, I agreed with her that I had eaten a lot. I then asked her if she had finished from her old school, and she said yes. Upon asking her where she was now, she said “in fact, I didn’t go to school this year because there was no money.” When I pressed further to know where she was, she then told me “I have a child who is one year now”. That’s when I helped her come out with the truth by saying “in actuality, you didn’t finish school, but dropped out because you got pregnant.” Without any hesitation, she said yes. I asked her what the matter with young girls these days was. “How can my students have children before me? How many of your classmates already have children? 3 or 4?” She said “Nous sommes sept (we are seven of us)”. Then she turned the stakes on me and asked “et toi madame, tu es toujours avec ton blanc la? C’est lui le pere de ton enfant? (and you madam, are you still with that white man of yours? Is he the father of your child?)”

In my mind I am going, ‘do you young people know that some of us older ones do actually get married?’ I looked at her and said “You mean my husband?” while showing her my wedding ring. She was not aware or bothered that she offended me by how she addressed me. Anyways, I told her “Yes, my husband is responsible for my child, and yes, it is the white gentle man I was engaged to when I taught you people. We got married and have begun our family.” I guess from my tone of voice, she realized that she had offended me. I wasn’t harsh, but I was very firm in making her understand that there is a thing called marriage before children for some of us who understand that.

After our conversation, it got me thinking, ‘Does marriage hold any significance in the societies today anymore? What do parents teach our teens these days?’ When I was in university, I watched students get pregnant in their first year because they were not under their parents’ roofs anymore. Some of these students would sit together and share of how they made out with a stranger at another university over the weekend and lied to their boyfriends that they were at home. It didn’t bother them that their actions were wrong, and they were not making the best choices for their future. They seemed not to have plans of any kind for their future, and life was all about fun and dating. I sat a couple of them and asked if they were the ones paying their tuition in the university, and they said no. Then I asked them why they were bent on not focusing on school? They had no answer. A number of them were pregnant by the end of the school year, and some aborted the children because they were afraid of their parents.

When I got back to Cameroon, I had similar conversations with students in the secondary school I taught at and some students I met on the streets. The girls at this secondary school laughed at me who was a virgin at 26 years old. This then was an indication that out of the 43 girls between the ages of 13-18 years of age that were in the classroom, three-quarter of them were not virgins anymore. No wonder they had no respect for me in the classroom until I began talking to some of them one-on-one to get to the bottom of the issue. The majority of these young people have not had any real role models in their lives to show them the way. Either they are from a dysfunctional family, or they live with relatives who do not give them the home sexual education they need.

In October 2018 on election day, I went to observe the elections in my area and met one of the official security persons who was meant to keep order. He got attached to me and asked me to be his girlfriend with a wife at home. I asked him if he looked at me very well? “Why would I, a married woman, agree to go out with a married man?” He said that the ring meant nothing, and one cannot be bound to only one person. I then told him “I understand that marriage is between a man and a woman who have committed themselves to each other for better or worse. My husband and I never keep secrets from each other, and as a matter of fact, this conversation is going to go straight to him in the next few minutes. If you want me to be your girlfriend, you will  need to go through him first which in any case, I would not agree to go out with you.” He looked at me and asked me what I would say to my husband, and I said “I would let my husband know that there’s a certain man at the polling station who wants to have Mrs. Astic as his girlfriend.” He said I wouldn’t dare, and I took out my phone and began to dial Mr. Astic’s number. I didn’t call Mr. Astic, immediately, but I did later when I needed to update him on what was going on at the polling station. When Mr. Astic arrived at the polling station later with his team of observers, I introduced him to the man, and he felt awkward because he knew I had told my husband about him.

If these young people have these kinds of parents in their lives, how can they know the difference between marriage and having affairs? Why wouldn’t they think it is alright for them to live promiscuous lives while attending school? Engaging in grown up activities is so prevalent in our societies today such that young people no longer have respect for those who actually understand that families are built within a certain framework for a reason; children need to be raised in a home that actually want and desire them. Yet, no one is there to tell these girls that when they have unprotected sex , they will have a child they are not ready for.

Just three weeks ago, I went for my maternity visit. On my way back, I saw a young girl not older than 14 years ago coming down a hill. She stopped to take a breath, and I saw her protruding stomach and a sharp pain went through my heart. ‘What was she thinking at this age?’ She stared straight at me while I drove by. ‘Why do the married ones have to compete with children to have children?’ was another thought that went through my mind. My heart broke for this young girl and all the other ones whom I have heard reports of up in the north west region of Cameroon. They are just children and have forgone their education for maybe a ‘one-night-stand’ lured by what????

Have we lost the virtues once held about marriage to the point that eleven-year-olds both boys and girls begin to engage in adult activities? I watched a youtube video on a teenage girl 13 years old who gave birth a day after her parents realized she was pregnant. What struck me about this case was her attitude towards her baby. She would not take care of the baby, spend time with the baby or look at the baby. On her birthday, friends and families brought her birthday gifts which were basically things for the baby, and she broke down and cried. She said “it is my birthday and why are all my gifts for the baby. It is not her birthday.” This took me to a TV show, Paternity Court, my husband and I have been watching. Judge Lauren’s words echoed in my mind “This is the reason why children should not have children”. They are still children and don’t know that when you bring a child into this world, you forgo your rights as a child and become a parent. Where are the role models in their lives?

From the many episodes we watched, these twenty-some-year-olds to 50 broke down and said that they didn’t know how to be better parents because they never had one or both parents in their lives. If they did, the example was exactly what they are today. How can these young ones act differently if the role models in their lives are exactly like them? Does this mean that they are a lost generation then?

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see” Hebrews 11:1

My journey with the Lord began fourteen years ago when I felt alone in my bedroom in the village needing love and affection from a father. I said to the Lord, “I have heard that you are a loving father since the age of 10. I have no father to whom I can run to and share my day’s happenings with, or one who can reassure me when my heart is broken, or one who can defend me from young men. Over and over, I have been told that you are a loving father. If I entrust my heart to you, will you protect it for me? If you are able to be the father that everyone talks about, then come into my life.”

From that moment on, my journey began with lots of trials and temptations. My faith was challenged beyond measures, and many times, I almost succumbed to the demands of the society. However, I refused to be swayed by my enemies in horrific nightmares, persecutions from families and neighbours. Two years went by, and my horrific dark dreams began to have the heavens open up for a hand to reach down and pick me up. Finally at age 18, I made a commitment and publicly proclaimed it at 19 years of age when I got baptized.

My final year of high school began my faith journey where I allowed God to lead me through the plans he had for my life. My plan A had been to do physiotherapy as my career, but I had not the means to pursue it. Hence, Plan B which was to study Bible took the front line, and I got accepted to Daystar University in Kenya three weeks before the semester began. You may be wondering where faith comes in this part, and you are right to wonder. Don’t worry, you have not that much to wait.

Well!! Here I was with three weeks to depart for a country I have never been to, but I had no passport or a visa. YEAH!!! What fun. So my grandma Vreni Geiger embarked on a journey to obtain three passports for three aspiring students. Within the three weeks, we prayed for passports that often take 3 months to come out, and they came out. This was a miracle and confirmation that God obviously was present. We believed in the impossible, and God came through for us.

Many other events took place throughout the four years I had in Kenya, where I believed in God’s plan for my life, and he came through for me. I graduated with a Double B.A in Biblical and Religious Studies and Peace and Conflict Management.

Fast forward to my love life, I found myself with two weeks left in the United Kingdom. It dawned on me that I was in-love with this man with whom I have spent the last four months watching animes, editing academic papers late in the morning and due the very same day, cooking, doing dishes together, taking late night walks, enjoying hot choco and coffee at MacDonald at midnight and just being there for each other in developing our personal understanding of the world around us. When I came to the realization that I was in-love with him, I had two choices. Not knowing what his feelings towards me were, the first choice was to walk away and not change the nature of our relationship of being good friends. Again, curiosity and wanting to know his feelings towards me developed my second decision which was to tell him and hear what he had to say.  As I poured out my heart to the Lord, he encouraged me to go by faith. He would still be there fore me no matter the results. A week before my departure, I plugged up enough courage after dinner one evening and told him. I said, “I have something I need to tell you.” He said, “I have something I need to tell you.” “You go first” was what I said next. He goes “you go first.” So, I highlighted the fact that my feelings for him went beyond friendship. As I held my breath, he looked at me and said, “That’s exactly what I wanted to tell you.” A whole load was taken off my chest as he took me into his hands. Together, we both realized that we had been holding back our feelings for each other afraid of what the other might say. Hence, we never dared share them outloud. Another evidence of God’s plan was unfolded in our relationship.

Standing at the Manchester airport and not knowing when we would see each other again on January 24, 2015, we committed to a long distance relationship by faith. We called each other every night at 7p.m for an hour to talk, and it enabled us to maintain communication back and forth. Knowing the challenge to apply for a visa to Europe, my grandma Vreni asked me to visit her in Switzerland. I went to the Swiss Embassy and explained that I wanted to go and visit the woman who raised me. I mentioned to them that my grandma had lived 40 years in Cameroon and was known by the ambassador. They took my application forms and asked me to tell her to send a number of other documents. She did, and I obtained a visa. Joffrey and I met up at my grandma’s in June 2015, spent some time with her and my little brother in Germany before we flew to France. If God had not been there to guide every step of the visa process, I would not have made it to any place.

After the visit, it wasn’t till another 18 months apart that we saw each other again in Cameroon. By faith, we chatted every night and made plans for the future as if they were already there. Trusting in God’s unfailing promises and the plans he had for us, we lived our lives as if the trials didn’t exist. Finally in October 2016, Joffrey showed up in Cameroon, we travelled to the village, and he asked for my hand in marriage. At the end of the month, he travelled back to France, and we made plans for me to visit him in December 2016. Guess what? Visa time again!! What fun!!!

Already scared by what people had said about the French Embassy, I went down on my knees and prayed to God for guidance. I filled in my application form, brought in all the supporting documents and met the most amazing woman at the case. Contrary to what I had heard, this woman was supportive, encouraging and not intimidating in her manner of speaking. Although some documents needed to have been separated, she pointed it out with lots of advise rather than anger. At the end of the day, I got my visa and travelled.

Flash forward to 2019, I finally witnessed what people had told me three years prior. At the case this time, I met a very impatient woman who intimidated me in every way. After she understood that I was going to visit my husband’s family, she asked me if I was pregnant and the answer was yes. Her whole attitude changed, and she asked for more documents than was cited on the application form. She gave me less than a couple hours to obtain all those documents, if not my application would be rejected. Surprise!!! Even after I obtained the documents in due time, my visa was denied on May 27,2019. I looked at the empty passport in my hands and said “Lord, I don’t know what your plans are, but if your plan is for me to travel, then I will travel. Nobody will stop me from travelling.” In as much as I believed that God was in this and only his glory will shine against human devices, it still broke my heart to watch my mother-in-law and sister-in-law cry because we had not seen each other since our wedding.  All I could do was pray in my heart that God would make a way. Sure enough, he did.

Mom in France met a lady who gave her a number to another woman who worked in the court in her town. She called the lady, and she asked her to have me send all the required documents that had been asked of me. I did, and we just prayed and waited. Counting down weeks to our departure on June 30, 2019, we heard nothing from anyone. Still trusting that that I would travel if it was within God’s will, I sat in the house working when I received an unknown call on Monday June 25,2019. Sure enough, it was from the embassy and the lady asked me to bring my husband’s residence card within an hour. I highlighted to her that it was impossible for me to make it within that time frame, and if she could at least give me two hours. She said okay. A few minutes later, she called back and said I should instead come on Wednesday with my passport and obtain my visa. On Wednesday, I walked into the office with Joffrey and were asked to come back in a few hours to collect the passport. I came back and walked back out with a visa in it.

I had learnt to trust in God’s strength, will and might more than trusting in my own strength or in the strength of influential people. If God chose to use them, then it was his will not mine. From the moment we realized that there were people out there fighting on our behalf, I knew that God truly wasn’t asleep. No matter where I am or the situation that I find myself, I believed that God would be present. Many may not appreciate my honesty and heart for justice, but God in his holy place sees every heart and touches it as he sees fit.

I just wanted to share these foundations of faith because God’s plans are not ours, and he often looks at our hearts and our reactions to situations we believe we are right. Yet, he does not often let us have what we want when we think we ought to have it. I am glad to be a vessel he can use to manifest his power and justice. The journey of faith is not always easy, but it allows his others to know that God does not work according to our agenda. He works in his own time, and we need to learn to trust him and let him have his way even when we feel like we have missed the date line. God is sovereign always, and this is the Psalms I borrowed when I received the visa:

¹ I waited patiently for the Lord;
    he turned to me and heard my cry.
² He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
    out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
    and gave me a firm place to stand.
³ He put a new song in my mouth,
    a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the Lord
    and put their trust in him. 

Psalms 40:1-3

There are more synopsis of faith in my life, but I have ran out of space.

How does your faith journey look like?

This may seem very random, but I couldn’t just let it pass. Four years ago, I returned home from Kenya after four years of absence, on transit to the UK. When Sunday came along, I got up early in the morning, had my devotions and asked God to protect us all the way to church and back home again.

After my devotions, I took a shower, dressed up, made breakfast and waited for the others to wake up. When they finally woke up, they told me that they were not going to church. A little thought of disappointment creeped inside my head and heart, but I shook it off. I had my breakfast, took some taxi money and left. Back then, the International Christian Church (ICC) was held at the Hilton Hotel down town. Hence, I told the driver to drop me off there.

At Korong, right before we went up to Mvog Mbi,  a young man in another car decided to make a U-turn where he shouldn’t in front of us. Our driver, who was a young university student viaed the car to the left to escape, and then to the right. Yet we still collided with the other car. The other car’s driver’s side was chattered into bits, but our car came off with a little scratch.

With all the strength within, I got out with a bruced head, paid the driver his full fare and took another taxi to church. After church, I came home, took medication for a fever that was speedily rising, as well as a thumping head and cried myself to sleep. Two hours later, I woke up, sat on my bed and reflected over the morning’s events. I realized then that God had heard my prayer. He took me safely to church and brought me back home.

What if I had not asked him to protect and watch over me throughout that day? Would he have done so? Did those in the taxi spend time with him that morning? Did I save those people’s lives through my trust and faith in God?

One thing I know that has repeated itself over and over in my life, is the way God answers prayers. He chooses to answer our prayers in his timing. It doesn’t mean that we should give up going to him.

Early this morning, the image of that day popped into my heard, as well as this question “Did God spare our car because I was inside? Did I save those people’s lives, because I had laid my day at his feet?”

Can you share those marvelous moments when God came through for you?

As I watched the light seep through my thin curtains announcing the arrival of another new day, my first thought was to spend time with my heavenly father.  Looking over my busy week , I realized that I had not spent enough time with him. My famous friend, guilt, tried to play his part, but I said no thank you. In that instant, i took my Bible and bowed my head to say thank you to my heavenly father who had watched over my insane week and had given me strength to accomplish all i had had on my schedule,  plus a few surprises.  After appreciating his presence with me, I asked him to speak to me, because I wanted to hear his voice and to give him my time. Not letting my past insane week where I barely spent time in his word get to me, I opened my Bible to continue through the Psalms. In answer to my prayer, I read Psalm 84, one of my favorites.  The first two verses served as a great reminder for us to build that deep relationship with God. Rather than fear going to his presence,  we should look forward to spending time with him. Throughout my high school years, I cherished a song based off this Psalm where I would sing with tears streaming down my face. I knew that only in God’s presence would I find peace, love and understanding.  I wanted a relationship with him, which put my whole life in his hands. I preferred to be an outcast, loner than be with people who gossiped, put others down, disregard other’s opinions and took advantage of others and expected me to do the same. I preferred to be a door-keeper in God’s house than to live in a mansion built from dishonest gain. Reading through this Psalms brought back those memories and I realized I did build my relationship with him. He is the same one I met 12 years ago and has remained faithful till today. He has been my sun and shield and has bestowed favor and honor on me. He has not withheld any good thing from me and I will continue to walk in his ways no matter how many times I fall. I get stronger every time I fall.

Although sometimes he gives me the silent treatment,  I know in my heart that he wants to teach me to trust in him. What I want or request may not be in his timing,  hence it enables me to trust in his timetable not mine. Often times it’s hard to know whether he is listening, but we have got to develop that habit of trust and wait upon the Lord to see us through. It gets a little frustrating sometimes,  but don’t give up trusting in him. Yearn for him and sit in front of his door to let him know that you can only do things through his strength and not yours.  Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.

HER PASSION IS TO SERVE GOD

What is your profession? Are you a missionary, teacher, doctor, social worker, mother, father or a charity worker? Do you work with vulnerable communities? Do you find joy in what you do? Are you always willing to go an extra mile because God needs you to? We all have our calling in life and places God has placed us in to make a difference. Do we serve in these areas with our hearts as serving him and not men (Col 3:23)? Do you find it hard to serve when other voices are opposed to what you feel God needs you to do? Maybe this story might help bring encouragement and strength to you.

I had the privilege of meeting Mama Pauline, an elderly lady in her sixties, who has been working with street children for the past eleven years. She felt God’s voice calling her to work with street children, in a situation where her life was threatened by the very people whom she was to minister to. She prayed and drew her strength from Psalm 23:3-4, “He gives me strength. He guides me in the right paths, as he has promised. Even if I go through the deepest darkness, I will not be afraid, Lord for you are with me. Your shepherd’s rod and staff protect me.” Through her demonstration of courage, the young men accepted her and she began a street children’s organization. Right now, she hosts about fifteen boys and one girl in a tiny little shack, where all seventeen of them live.

Many times, over the past eleven years, she’s been persecuted by neighbours for helping the street children. However, she has held on to that dream and God has blessed her with a little plot. Battling against many odds like Nehemiah when he began building the walls of Jerusalem, Mama Pauline has started constructing a bigger living quarter for her foster children and herself. She’s been persecuted from all sides by people who do not want to see her carry out the work God called her to. She shows no signs of backing down and surges forward to keep building for the sake of her children.

Despite her courage and strength to fight for the young people she works with, she is challenged by the lack of funds. The construction only continues whenever she gets some money to buy the needed materials. Hence, I felt the need to share her story with you. You might be one of those who wishes to serve or be involved in the community and do not know how. If God has placed it on your heart to help someone or contribute to a meaning cause, such as helping the street children, then do not hesitate to lend a hand. To build a structure, one needs lots of materials and funds, hence, pray about it and let God speak to you.

Mama Pauline’s new project. It has a boys’ living quarters and the girls’ living quarters. It’s not that big, but four times bigger than the one they live in right now.

Nehemiah 2:18 “And I told them how God had been with me and helped me and what the emperor had said to me. They responded, ‘let’s start rebuilding!’ And they got ready to start the work”

“Does it feel weird to be back at RFIS again? How does it feel working with your former teachers?” Those were some of the questions I encountered at the beginning of the academic year of 2016-2017. It had been eight years since, I graduated from Rain Forest International School (RFIS).  When I joined RFIS in 2004, I  was only four years old in the English Language and French.  Through lots of support from my awesome grandma Vreni and very patient ESL teachers like Ms Mary and Mrs Jealouse, I gradually gained my footing in the English language. This was further developed through Anna Baker, Ms Baker and Mr. Chilton’s none ceasing red, blue, black and purple marks they placed left and right on each piece of writing I made.  Those encouraged me to perform better the next time.  I decided to work with all my heart in whatever I did both in school and at home. It was not for anyone else, but for God and myself.  I daily appreciated the different steps the teachers took to help me improve academically.  They used different game activities and worksheets to help the ELL students (ESL back then) improve in their oral, vocabulary and written skills. To practice my writing skills and innovative mind, I began to read books and keep a diary of my daily activities. The teachers worked hard to help me, but I also worked hard to make their efforts worthwhile. I took my studies into my own hands. How has this helped me in my current role as the ELL Support  Specialist?

A TEACHER’S PERSPECTIVE

When I took on the role as the ELL Supporter, I was made to understand that this was a new role after a long time. Hence, my number one challenge was to create an ELL curriculum for Middle school. I had never had any teacher’s training nor been to workshops where I was taught how to design a curriculum. I looked up to heaven and said “Lord, you brought me back, so equip me for this work”. The first week consisted of me sitting in classes and observing students’ and receiving feedback from teachers concerning the students’ needs.

My position requires me to support students who have difficulties grasping the English language orally, written, listening and comprehension. Thus, I design different lessons to accommodate their different needs, ranging from grades 7-12. Designing the lessons has been challenging and rewarding. Sometimes the lesson planned might be harder for the students than I had thought, and I would have to modify it within the lesson to suit the students’ needs. Other times, the lesson might seem a little easy for some students and hard for others. Thus, striking a balance to accommodate all their needs is often draining.

In the first semester, I worked with 7^th grade students in one class, and a group of high school students in another class, ranging from grades 9-11. However, in the second semester, more students were sent my way. Now, I teach grade 7, grade 9 and grade 10 separately with different lesson plans.

In addition, I have individual students who need extra help outside of their class periods. However, the hard work often pays off when students demonstrate their understanding through different class activities which include: discussions, games, worksheets, homework, quizzes and tests throughout the quarters.

Some of the activities that have helped the students, have been worksheets, videos, games, group work, individual class work and homework. Most of these activities help reinforce their listening, reflective, critical and information gathering skills.

Furthermore, my previous experience as an ELL student has helped most of them realize that they need the class. I thank God that our previous work was preserved over the years; I have been able to show the students my own work in the class as a student. The diaries I mentioned above have been of great assistance in the class; helping the students understand that they too need to make the extra effort to learn.

Memories of my teachers helping me has been a great reinforcement to me as I work with the students. The working staff and the administration has been my greatest supporters. Whenever I come across a challenge, I run to either one of them and they give me advise on what I could possibly do.

My biggest objective for next quarter is to design different class activities, which will help with collaboration. My teachers did wonders for me, and I would like to do the same for the students under my care.

Although sometimes, they are unwilling to participate or accept the assistance offered to them, God’s grace and mercy keeps me going. If it means I have to repeat the same thing over and over, I shall for the sake of helping that one child find their way in God’s redemptive plan.

Working alongside teachers who taught me is grace, for they provide the support and love I need to help these students under my charge. With all my heart, I shall continue to work  for the Lord and not for men. My help comes from him, despite my failures daily. He still loves me and shows me grace. In the exact manner, I will love and cherish the young men and women that I have under my care right now.

Cameroon has been going through a crisis for the past three months, and they are no where close to finding a stable solution. As a citizen and a conflict resolutions person, it is my duty and responsibility to educate my brothers and sisters on what patriotism means. Based on the observation of the crisis in the past few months and the discussions that have been ongoing in the media in Cameroon and the international hemisphere, I would commend the Northwest and South West regions of this country for demonstrating their patriotism for their country. If they didn’t have a love and desire to make this country advance, they would not have gone out to call on the underlying issues that have been brewing beneath the surface.

Because they have decided to address the issues that have kept this country stagnant for years, the government has termed their actions as an act of “terrorism”. Terrorism in itself is defined as ” the systematicc use of terror especially as a means of coercion”. Based on the YouTube videos captured by witnesses, the law enforces themselves have carried out lawless crimes against the citizens.

It is the duty and responsibility of a state government to protect the rights of its citizens at all levels.  Unfortunately,  the Cameroon government seems not to get the memo. The world is moving forward and we are moving backwards. What happened to freedom of expression in this country?  Disconnecting people’s networks and taking Internet services, not only incarcerate students from carrying on their education through online courses, but also impedes families from communicating with their loved ones.  Not only have families been deprived of visiting their loved ones in the Northwest regions because of broken roads and tedious hours of travel on these roads, but they are void of any medium of communication. To begin with,  the simcards got blocked and families couldn’t reach their loved ones, especially in the conflict areas. After the incident went viral, the simcards were restored and Internet was taken off phones. This serves as a violation of human rights on many levels. I feel strongly that a good leader is one that listens to the people even down to the least of them. However this seems not to be the case right now. This is pure dictatorship and clearly demonstrates that there is no democracy in this country.
How can students be deprived of education for months and some ministers dare to say there’s nothing wrong with this country? Removing millions of thousands to deal with the immediate situation will not solve the problem in the long run. Have the decency to sit down with the people and come up with a strategy as to how to deal with the situation in a civilized and peaceful manner. Putting security forces around schools in the South west for students to return to school is encouraging to parents,  but not enough to deal with the cause of the conflict. It makes a mockery of those who are grieving thus fueling their frustrations. For how long will the government provide security?  The time an energy wasted would have been used up wisely if the government would be admit that there’s a serious problem that should be dealt with which they have ignored for years.
It would be wise not to term the people’s protest as an act of “terrorism”, because they had stepped out in a peaceful protest a few months ago and were met with lawless, brutal military forces. Using the students as an escape goat to shift attention from the crimes committed by the law forces in these past few months is called hypocrisy and cowardness. You cannot state that students should not be deprived of education and that it’s their right to have education,  when others have been deprived of their right to speak out against the crimes committed against humanity.
Come to the drawing board and settle this matter like adults and stop acting like children who do not want to share their toys and candies. Leaders are there to serve the people and not to become kings. Let justice reign in this country.