Looking back in time, I will not shed a tear for the past that seemed to have torn my world apart. “While I was giving up on me, your patience was shaping my life story”, is a true statement made by the group “Virtues”, one of my childhood favourite groups. It is so easy for us to shed tears of sorrow, and sing lines such as, “though the sorrow may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning”. Who said you could not shed tears of joy? How often do we take time to reflect over God’s blessings in our lives, even in the mist of all the chaos in our lives? Do we often sit by the window, gazing out at the beautiful raindrops by our window and wonder if those drops could be tears of joy? Often times, poetry describes gloom when rain falls or the sky is dark and grey, reflecting a state of depression. Novels associate sad moments with “On that gloomy day” and movies, accompany heartbreaks, terrible news and horrors with showers of rain, creating a depressing effect, evoking strong emotions for the viewers. The recent movie, Sherlock Holmes towards the end, accompanies the little boy’s wasp sting and the mother’s frustration with showers of rain.

How often do we shed tears of joy, aside from receiving beautiful gifts, reconciling with a friend, having an engagement announcement, and making things right with one another and the list goes on? These are all glorious moments, which we should all cherish.

Sitting on my bed this afternoon, I looked out the window; painful memories came flooding through my mind. Without the slightest hesitation, I began thanking God for taking me through those moments. The next wave of memories was of all the prayers I have prayed over the years concerning my face, my faith and my job and I wrote those down on a napkin as the last set of prayers I would make concerning those items, especially m face and my job. The Message this morning ARE YOU TOTALLY COMMITTED TO GOD kept questioning my faith in God. Will I still trust in the Lord even if he does not take me out of my circumstances? In that moment, tears of praise and thanksgiving came flooding in my eyes, as I gave thanks to the Lord for his love, his protection and his shield over me all these years. Not only to me, but also on my family, I have seen his handiwork, and there is no one else but him who deserves the glory and praise. As I knelt, down and lifted my eyes to him, I prayed the last prayer of trust in his will for my life. I surrendered everything to him, because I knew he was in control.

As I stood up and stared in the mirror, I remembered one great prayer he answered not long ago, and new tears of joy came flooding in. If someone had picked through my door, he/she would have been confused, because I shed those tears as if everything within me was falling apart. It sure was falling apart with joy and happiness, because I could see the pains I had gone through and the deliverance right after that. Through my tears, I realized that it is rare that we find people shedding tears of joy, yet we are encouraged to give thanks to the Lord and magnify his name above all other name. It was through these tears, that I knew that God is always there in the mist of the chaos in our lives. We worry and wallow in our sorrows, that we pass him by with our next list of complains and worries, without really marvelling at his grace and blessings in our lives.

As the rain accompanied the tears rolling down my black spotted chicks, I smiled in the mist of the tears, knowing God has always watched me, and has always heard my prayers. I wondered if there was someone out there, focusing on their blessings and staring at the same rain dripping by their window as I was for it was an overwhelming experience. At that moment, I knew it has never been by my might, nor anyone else in my life, for me to reach where I am. The final analysis, pointed straight to him, who already knew what my life story was going to be, if I accepted it. I do not have to wait for the morning to have my sorrows cleared. I choose to be joyful and happy in the middle of my sorrows, because they may never end, but God will always be there to guide and lead my steps.