I arrived in Bradford, West Yorkshire in England on September 12, 2013. The weather was cold and unwelcoming, speaks one who had just left a country boiling at 31 degrees. That half of the year went by too fast, landing me in 2014. In the middle of missing my family in Cameroon and my friends in Kenya, I came to understand that without God I will loose everything dear to me. As I poured myself out to God and assimilated the words given to us in his book, I began to understand things I had read over and over and had no understanding. The year began with so much promising, building friendships and restoring old friendships.
MUTED IN A RELATIONSHIP
When it seemed like everything was going great in my life, my relationship crumbled in March. What started out as a misunderstanding and misrepresentation of words, ended in a permanent closure of both relationship and friendship. This sadden me very much. I looked to the only one with all the answers to ask him WHY? WHAT? and HOW? Was I the only one who didn’t see it coming? Or did God’s plan get fulfilled? It took me many tears, much courage and all wisdom and knowledge that I have been learning from my readings to be able to trust God in this situation. Day in day out, I continually prayed that God’s will be done because I was not ready to accept that my relationship had ended. No phone calls, no emails, no messages and no whatsapp messages or skype. But God in all his goodness and grace asked me if I regretted the time I invested in the relationship. After evaluating it, I realized that possibly, God placed me in that relationship to learn things and deal with things I had not known how to deal with before. While I was in the relationship, I was able to handle difficult situations, counsel my friends based on my own experience and to appreciate the growth in both of us. Now I have passed the stage of questions and have moved on with life, trusting that God knows the best plans for my life even when I am unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel. One thing I look forward to seeing is him smiling down at me at the end of the day, as long as I remember his promise never to leave me nor forsake me. All I need now is courage and strength and trust that he is with me all the way in my future.
Family affairs
The second challenge of my year was knowing that my family was falling apart and I was powerless to do anything about it. Day in and out, I prayed that we will learn to love one another and appreciate each other. I did my best to see each person through God’s eyes, but that didn’t change the situation. I love everyone in my family and appreciate everyone’s efforts in helping me become who I am today. However, I didn’t appreciate being treated like a child by my elders. I have been through primary, secondary, undergraduate and postgraduate as a Peace student and a Bible student, and I have gained so much wisdom. To have those you love see you as a child who does not understand anything, really breaks my heart. I hate divorce and would not want any of my relatives to separate. However, if they are to separate, then it should be for reasons that both agree on. However, when I am being used to pick a side, then it infuriates me very much. Carrying this burden on my heart has led me to bring it before God and trust that his plans are the best. If I allow myself to get angry, then I will not be showing anyone love and care as I Corinthians 13 calls us to do. Being able to reflect on how the issues at home were affecting me with my friends, who were/are able to pray with me has helped me keep my cool and to lay everything before God.
Taking on others’ burdens
When I was a kid, somewhere around age 7, I watched my mother cry. When she would not stop crying, I would startcrying with her because it pained me to see her in tears. I remember that her aunt had shouted at her and called her inferior names. Funny enough, my mother had wanted to help her harvest coffee, but she refused and told my mom she didn’t belong there and should not touch anything of hers (I have no idea how I can remember all of these things, but God has gifted me with a good memory when it comes to the past). Carrying my little sister, I sat down on my mother’s arms and cried with her. She looked down at me and wiped my tears and told me to stop crying. I have a weakness for carrying others suitcases (says Sepo) that are not mine. Looking at my family affairs and watching my little cousin of 19 years old gets treated like an object, really melts my heart. Having grown up in this culture where it is male dominated kills me to know that many years later, nothing has really changed. Powerless to do anything to change the situation while watching from afar, has torn my heart. As I allowed these things to eat at my heart and make me want to burst with pain, my friends stepped in to help me understand that God in all his mercy and grace has offered to carry all that pain and sorrow for me. My Cameroon brother in Kenya too has been going through stress with his thesis in a Christian University. It really infuriates me when Christians put others down rather than appreciate and encourage them. Being powerless to do anything, my friends helped me know that I could pray for them every day and trust that God’s plans are the best. Being able to pray and meditate on God’s word has really shaped how I see the circumstances in my life, my friends and my family’s lives.
Jehovah Jireh (The Lord will provide)
Alongside friends and family affairs, I have just completed my masters and for months before completion and after completion, I have been applying for jobs and having no response. The only job offer I got was with Executive Touch, which could not sponsor me for a work visa. Having my hopes raised and crushed at the same time brought me to question God’s will for me. I have been advised not to limit myself to my field of study. I will not limit myself, but one thing that has kept me going has been the encouragements gotten from sermons in church, spending time in God’s word. Ever since I became a Christian, I had only one goal in life, to live and serve God with all my heart wherever I found myself and in whatever I was doing. Being with the Light Church has increased my growth and knowledge and understanding of who God is. God is not just up there in heaven, picking and choosing who to bless. Listening to our leaders demonstrate God as a living God who walks with us daily through the books of the Old Testament and the New Testament has enabled me to build a personal relationship with him stronger than just knowing he exists. He has become my friend in whom I can confide all my fun memories, my crazy moments and my struggles. He has become a friend that I dance with on the road, although I might look crazy, and a friend I can sit with on my bed and have a two way conversation with. Being able to see him as someone real has enabled me to understand that I can trust him like Abraham to provide as he has promised.
Praying and Encouraging
It is not always easy to have prayer as the first reaction in a difficult situation, especially if our personalities are those of actions and think later. I have been learning to pray for situations rather than complain about them. I thank God for the circumstances mentioned above, because they have enabled me to seek God’s wisdom first. In my human nature, I will see the perpetrators as evil and should be wiped off the face of the earth. However, being able to pray and seek God’s face, I have gained understanding in how to be of encouragement to those facing these circumstances. Many books like I Thessalonnians 5:11, 15-18 have helped me understand that I needed to encourage others and to build them up. I needed to be joyful always, to pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances for it was God’s will for me in Christ Jesus. Reading his word and being able to meditate on it, enabled me to ask myself if these trials that my friends are going through as well as I, are meant to help me increase my faith. As I focused on praying for my friends and their circumstances, I felt much joy and an overflowing of God’s presence with me. Being able to encourage my friends, enabled them to encourage me and pray for me if I could not be strong for everyone. The same words I had been able to give my friends, they brought those same words back to me as I melted down due to the burdens I was carrying. Through their prayers and encouragements, I was reminded of Jesus words in Matthew 11:29-30 when he said ‘Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. “For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” I am learning to place all these burdens before him.
Building Great Friendships
The final straw of my year was graduating from the University of Bradford with a Masters in African Peace and Conflict Studies. During my studies, I was blessed to have friends from Zambia, Japan, Nigeria, Germany, France, Latvia, Estonia, Greece, Pakistan, India and many other countries. The women and men that I met all impacted my life in many different ways. Others have become soul sisters and I really thank God for each and everyone of them. I have been able to have controversial conversations and we saw the commonality in each conversation and disagreements, yet we have enjoyed all those conversations. Through their eyes and minds, we were able to share ideas, learn from one another and kill some stereotypes that our cultures or societies have created concerning many different cultures. At the end of the day, we realized that we are all not that different from each other, whether we are white, black, brown, pink, green or whatever color you have ever seen a person. The greatest part has been having friends who can pray with me and slap me on my cheek to stop me from over thinking situations and trying to carry them on my shoulders. Yes I do understand I don’t like injustices and the whole point of Peace studies was to understand each human’s rights and how to settle conflicts. It has been really hard not being able to do anything about certain situations. Having great friends who will let you cry on their shoulders and to drop everything they are doing to come and sit with you and pray with you has been of great courage to me and encouragement. I will not exchange the friendships I have built here for anything else. This does not mean I have forgotten about my friends around the world. They have been on my heart as I have continuously prayed for them. As I look forward to 2015, I wait in anticipation for all that God will do in my life.
MERRY CHRISTMAS
I love Christmas. It brings me so much joy knowing that it is around this time period that my king arrived to bring hope to the world. As I remembered the reason of why I became a Christian, I carry this on to a new year knowing it was not because of all the miracles that Jesus did, but because he could be the loving father that no human being has ever been to me. He is love and no one has ever claimed that title but him and that love led him to die on the cross for my sins and your sins. His love brought him to the cross so that I could be forgiven for all the wrongs I have done, so that I would not be punished for them. Therefore, it reminds me to love and forgive people who have hurt me and to see them through his eyes and to see myself as he sees me not as I see myself. I pray you too will be able to see yourself for how he sees you. I would like to spend this Christmas with friends, visiting families and letting them know how much Jesus loves and cares for each and everyone of them. Presents are good, but do they matter if we have no love in our hearts for those who are there for us? Do we only show how much we love them through material things? Every day for me is Christmas and December is only a symbol of that time period that we are reminded of Love’s arrival here on earth. Don’t get carried away by the need to buy gifts, get a big turkey and forget to share love. See your family members for who they truly are not for what you would wish them to be.
This has been a growing year for me, and I thank each and everyone in my life for playing such a heavy part in helping me grow in my faith and knowledge. “For I know the plans I have for you”, says the Lord, “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a future and a hope”. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, but in all your ways, acknowledge him and he shall make your path straight.