I will never stop being amazed at how God works. He will let you vent all you want. He will let you cry all the tears you can muster up and will even hold you while you do so. He will not stop you from crying, which is contrary to why you went to him. NOPE!!!!!!! He will let you cry all those tears, till you have none to spare. When you are done, he will then begin.

Well, he won’t scold you or tell you it’s ok. On the contrary, he will direct your heart to the root causes of your anguish. Why do I think my tears were justified?

It’s always easy to feel justified in anger and frustration. It’s always easy to blame someone for the things that didn’t go our way. Or it’s easy to look at the other’s mistakes and take up the victim’s role. HMMMM!!!!!! Am I actually staying on track?

I actually wrote this post last week and was debating whether or not to post it.

My story is really long but short. I had been worried about marks left by pimples on my face. I had been worried about what people thought of me. I tried to assume what was going through their minds every time they stared at me. You know those uncomfortable stares that people give you and you wonder if you have food on your lips, or things between your teeth? YES, That kind of stare. It just makes you want to crawl into a hole and never see the daylight again.

I cried every time someone stared at me with a questioning look. When I saw my reflection in the mirror, I didn’t see me, but someone else.

Out of nowhere, I began to have resentment, anger and frustration coming out of me. Every night, I cried and without realizing it, I directed my anger and frustration at my beloved Jesus, who died for my tears.

Well tonight (7days ago), this song came to my mind and I could not stop singing it. The words go like this: you are beautiful beyond description, too marvellous for words; too wonderful for comprehension, like nothing ever seen or heard. Who can grasp your infinite wisdom? Who can fathom the depth of your love? You are beautiful beyond description, majesty enthrone above. And I stand; I stand, in awe of you.

As I reflected on the words of the song, I then asked myself, why I have been crying those tears. Why have I been bothered by what people thought? I have to confess that it has been something I wrestled with for years. Whom have I been crying those tears for? The man that loves me cares little about my face, so why should I care what people see?

How could I get mad at the man who drew people to him, although Isaiah said, he had no beauty or majesty? Yet because of the beauty in his heart, we are his disciples. So why should I care how people perceive me? He looks not at the outward appearance, but my heart and how I see myself. So why did I bother so much and build up so much pain? Why do you bother so much?

After venting out to the man I have hurt the most, he gently led me to reflect on who I was. That’s when I realized I had been crying ‘The Wrong Tears’.